Friday, May 25, 2007
Four For Friday-Memorial Day Style or Victoria Day or Whatever Day Your Country Honors Their Heroes
All of the following happened on Memorial Day. Okay, well maybe not.
1. Which Actor/Wannabe Rockstar wore surgical gloves during a meet and greet session with fans?
2.
Which large breasted long-time, but not too old B list soon to be A
list network television actress (remember the definition) pissed off
about 20 people at Starbucks by returning her coffee concoction 5 times
because it didn't taste right, wasn't prepared right, wasn't hot enough,
didn't smell right and she changed her mind. Each time she complained
she forced herself to the front of the line of people and demanded
immediate attention.
3. When this A list NBC actor gets bored he
goes car shopping. He loves going for test drives and will often spend
2-3 hours at a dealer test driving vehicles to get "just the right one."
He then either bails because he's late for a meeting with his agent or
he demands the car of his choice for free. Either way he leaves angry
sales people in his wake wherever he goes.
4. Talk about a
tightwad, this former teen heartthrob movie actor and now usually an
ensemble television actor is not someone you want to be behind in line
at a grocery store. This actor who still has plenty of money obviously
also has plenty of time. He has been known to take three hours strolling
the aisles of a grocery store comparing prices and checking his
coupons. Not just two or three coupons mind you, but hundreds and
hundreds which he then sorts through at the checkout line. A good point
for him is that he is aware that he is taking a great deal of time and
thus is very friendly to the cashier and to all the people in line
behind him, but it still can take 20 minutes to get him checked out.
Bonus
I
know you may think the above are boring so how about this one. This
actress/singer tries to portray a very good girl image. So everyone was
amazed when she got drunk the other night at a club and let herself be
groped, fondled and kissed in a corner by two guys at the same time. She
was doing some groping of her own and led one of the two guys back to
the VIP section by his belt loop.
Showing posts with label Drinking. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Drinking. Show all posts
Monday, September 17, 2012
Friday, September 7, 2012
CDAN: FFF 5/81/07
Friday, May 18, 2007
Four For Friday
I know I promised a ZX reveal in May, but the actual date will probably be June 4th. We are trying to do something kind of unique and fun and not just a simple post. Unfortunately, we can't do what we want to do until that weekend before the 4th. Hope you will be patient.
OK, it's been awhile since I had a fill in the blank Four For Friday, but this one lends itself to the format perfectly.
The night before this recent awards show #1__________________(female pop star although also one horrible movie) went to dinner with #2__________________(aging, but classy country star), her husband #3_________________(non celebrity, but give it a shot), and #4___________________(extremely popular male country singer) from the band #5_____________________.(think two letters from an extreme adult activity) At dinner they had about 5 bottles of wine and #1 was well on her way to being plastered. They decided to hit the casino for a little gambling after dinner and things got much worse from there. #4 only drinks tequila so he and #1 were taking shot after shot after shot. Needless to say, #1 was a MESS within about an hour, but she didn't stop. She stayed out until 2AM and more or less had to be carried up to her room by the end of the night. She was late for the dress rehearsal the next day and was so hungover by the time showtime came around she could barely make it through her performance with #2. Everyone wondered why she was so hard to hear during the performance and it was because she was insanely hungover from the night before and "didn't feel up to performing" at all.
#1-Kelly Clarkson
#2-Reba McEntire
#3-Narvel Blackstock
#4-Ronnie Dunn
Four For Friday
I know I promised a ZX reveal in May, but the actual date will probably be June 4th. We are trying to do something kind of unique and fun and not just a simple post. Unfortunately, we can't do what we want to do until that weekend before the 4th. Hope you will be patient.
OK, it's been awhile since I had a fill in the blank Four For Friday, but this one lends itself to the format perfectly.
The night before this recent awards show #1__________________(female pop star although also one horrible movie) went to dinner with #2__________________(aging, but classy country star), her husband #3_________________(non celebrity, but give it a shot), and #4___________________(extremely popular male country singer) from the band #5_____________________.(think two letters from an extreme adult activity) At dinner they had about 5 bottles of wine and #1 was well on her way to being plastered. They decided to hit the casino for a little gambling after dinner and things got much worse from there. #4 only drinks tequila so he and #1 were taking shot after shot after shot. Needless to say, #1 was a MESS within about an hour, but she didn't stop. She stayed out until 2AM and more or less had to be carried up to her room by the end of the night. She was late for the dress rehearsal the next day and was so hungover by the time showtime came around she could barely make it through her performance with #2. Everyone wondered why she was so hard to hear during the performance and it was because she was insanely hungover from the night before and "didn't feel up to performing" at all.
#1-Kelly Clarkson
#2-Reba McEntire
#3-Narvel Blackstock
#4-Ronnie Dunn
Thursday, September 6, 2012
CDAN: 3/27/07
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
Today's Blind Items
This aging former A list movie actor has always seemed washed up. Even his characters had that look about them. He has always been a drinker. Some drugs, but mainly a drinker. He always drinks before television appearances, no matter the time of day they are filmed. That has always happened. His most recent behavior is not. Lately when he gets drunk he has been going to all of his old homes at all hours of the day and night. He rings the bell and when the owner answers says he used to live there and then invites himself in. He basically crashes in the house for 3 or 4 hours. Sometimes he tells stories and other times he just mumbles. One family called the police, but our actor was not arrested.
Nick Nolte
So this fashion designer is having a big show tonight in LA. Although he has been down and out before, he has taken on a J-Hud divaesque kind of air about him. The only people invited tonight are the elite of the elite. Old friends and acquaintances shouldn't bother showing up. They aren't wanted.
Today's Blind Items
This aging former A list movie actor has always seemed washed up. Even his characters had that look about them. He has always been a drinker. Some drugs, but mainly a drinker. He always drinks before television appearances, no matter the time of day they are filmed. That has always happened. His most recent behavior is not. Lately when he gets drunk he has been going to all of his old homes at all hours of the day and night. He rings the bell and when the owner answers says he used to live there and then invites himself in. He basically crashes in the house for 3 or 4 hours. Sometimes he tells stories and other times he just mumbles. One family called the police, but our actor was not arrested.
Nick Nolte
So this fashion designer is having a big show tonight in LA. Although he has been down and out before, he has taken on a J-Hud divaesque kind of air about him. The only people invited tonight are the elite of the elite. Old friends and acquaintances shouldn't bother showing up. They aren't wanted.
Friday, August 31, 2012
CDAN: 3/05/07
Monday, March 05, 2007
Today's Blind Items
An update to the blind item from Thursday about the comedian who is making everyone miserable with his work edicts. It seems as if the comedian has gone too far. Tired of putting up with his crap, there was a walkout en masse of various workers which caused the production to grind to a halt until they could find some new replacement victims, I mean workers.
She was doing so well also. This starlet who is allegedly sober was seen popping pills while drinking out of her "water" bottle this past weekend. Was it because of the recent photos of her which showed off her "baby bump?"
(Lindsey Lohan)
One of the great things about Las Vegas is the plentiful food. This actress who had been gaining weight and looking hot enough to date after a long bout of not eating is back at it again. Our spy caught her in the restroom at a restaurant the other night either suffering from the flu or an instant case of food poisoning because the actress spent about ten minutes getting rid of the food she had just eaten.
Today's Blind Items
An update to the blind item from Thursday about the comedian who is making everyone miserable with his work edicts. It seems as if the comedian has gone too far. Tired of putting up with his crap, there was a walkout en masse of various workers which caused the production to grind to a halt until they could find some new replacement victims, I mean workers.
She was doing so well also. This starlet who is allegedly sober was seen popping pills while drinking out of her "water" bottle this past weekend. Was it because of the recent photos of her which showed off her "baby bump?"
(Lindsey Lohan)
One of the great things about Las Vegas is the plentiful food. This actress who had been gaining weight and looking hot enough to date after a long bout of not eating is back at it again. Our spy caught her in the restroom at a restaurant the other night either suffering from the flu or an instant case of food poisoning because the actress spent about ten minutes getting rid of the food she had just eaten.
CDAN: FFF 2/23/07
Friday, February 23, 2007
Four For Friday
Oscar time means pre-Oscar parties and pre-pre parties. Well, OK, Hollywood does not need much of an excuse to party. However, at one party, this actress who married above herself never let her husband get more than 3 feet away from her. Some would say she was just affectionate, but it got to the laughable stage very quickly when she kept trying to interject herself between any woman who dared speak to her husband. The only time he was alone was when he went to the bathroom. She waited by the door after escorting him there.
This former female reality star has called in every favor owed to her for one reason. She is obsessed with this singer. For the last ten days he has made appearances at four parties and she has been right there every step of the way. She crashed one party and came as the "date" of another woman just so she could keep trying to get him to notice her. Still hasn't worked but there is another party tonight so...
Life must be getting harder for this married A-List actor. Long thought to be sober, he was spotted at a recent party chugging down a drink before spending the rest of the night with a bottle of water.
I am a diva, get me out of here. That was the attitude of this recent actress who made the briefest of brief appearances. Thinking there was going to be name talent, she found herself surrounded by C&D listers and she was just too good for that. She walked through the room once and then was gone. Next year she may well be on the other side looking in.
Four For Friday
Oscar time means pre-Oscar parties and pre-pre parties. Well, OK, Hollywood does not need much of an excuse to party. However, at one party, this actress who married above herself never let her husband get more than 3 feet away from her. Some would say she was just affectionate, but it got to the laughable stage very quickly when she kept trying to interject herself between any woman who dared speak to her husband. The only time he was alone was when he went to the bathroom. She waited by the door after escorting him there.
This former female reality star has called in every favor owed to her for one reason. She is obsessed with this singer. For the last ten days he has made appearances at four parties and she has been right there every step of the way. She crashed one party and came as the "date" of another woman just so she could keep trying to get him to notice her. Still hasn't worked but there is another party tonight so...
Life must be getting harder for this married A-List actor. Long thought to be sober, he was spotted at a recent party chugging down a drink before spending the rest of the night with a bottle of water.
I am a diva, get me out of here. That was the attitude of this recent actress who made the briefest of brief appearances. Thinking there was going to be name talent, she found herself surrounded by C&D listers and she was just too good for that. She walked through the room once and then was gone. Next year she may well be on the other side looking in.
CDAN: 1/29/07
Monday, January 29, 2007
You cannot see me now, but I am giving Jeeeze a standing ovation. Jeeeze has worked so hard and so diligently over the past several weeks to create the finest message board on the internet. It has every blind item to be guessed and considered and will allow for everyone to discuss whatever they want. I REALLY appreciate Jeeeze doing this and hope everyone will give the message board a chance and also to say thanks to Jeeeze as well.
Some SAG blind items
Last night at the SAG awards, this B list television actress either had too much too drink or had some other problem which caused her to be found slumped against a bathroom door. Babbling incoherently she spent fifteen minutes on the floor and refused repeated offers for help. She managed to crawl a few feet and then got to her feet with a helping hand and then staggered back to the show. Undeterred by whatever her ailment was, she was later seen partying all night long. It is unknown whether she spent any additional time inspecting bathroom floors.
Last night at the SAG awards, this actress from a hit show, made multiple visits to the bathroom during just the first hour of the show. When she returned from her last visit, she muttered that it was all gone now and she was just going to have to suffer until the show was over. At an after party, she kept trying to corner an actor from a different hit show. When her advances were repeatedly declined, she tried one more trick. She lowered her dress to reveal a very large set of breasts and when he refused to look or touch, she said, "I knew you were gay. I just won $200."
You cannot see me now, but I am giving Jeeeze a standing ovation. Jeeeze has worked so hard and so diligently over the past several weeks to create the finest message board on the internet. It has every blind item to be guessed and considered and will allow for everyone to discuss whatever they want. I REALLY appreciate Jeeeze doing this and hope everyone will give the message board a chance and also to say thanks to Jeeeze as well.
Some SAG blind items
Last night at the SAG awards, this B list television actress either had too much too drink or had some other problem which caused her to be found slumped against a bathroom door. Babbling incoherently she spent fifteen minutes on the floor and refused repeated offers for help. She managed to crawl a few feet and then got to her feet with a helping hand and then staggered back to the show. Undeterred by whatever her ailment was, she was later seen partying all night long. It is unknown whether she spent any additional time inspecting bathroom floors.
Last night at the SAG awards, this actress from a hit show, made multiple visits to the bathroom during just the first hour of the show. When she returned from her last visit, she muttered that it was all gone now and she was just going to have to suffer until the show was over. At an after party, she kept trying to corner an actor from a different hit show. When her advances were repeatedly declined, she tried one more trick. She lowered her dress to reveal a very large set of breasts and when he refused to look or touch, she said, "I knew you were gay. I just won $200."
CDAN: 1/25/07
Thursday, January 25, 2007
This A-list actor is fairly recently married and even has a child. Although he has had a serious drug problem in the past, most people thought it was just that, in the past. His previous drug use had caused him to be turned down for several roles which could have made him an even larger star. Because of the drugs, he was forced to take some roles that most actors in his position would turn down without a thought. Until his current marriage, his relationships were always on and off, depending on his drug use. Once everyone thought he was clean, they began hiring him again and again. Now however, back-to-back-to-back-to-back films without a break and a long absence from his wife allowed him to resume his old ways and habits. He still has a few films in the pipeline, but their dates keep getting pushed back to see whether or not he can kick his habit or whether he will be back to his old ways.
Speaking of addictions, this B-list hunk was moving steadily up the fame ladder, but his battle with meth and alcohol effectively stopped him in his tracks for almost a year. When he emerged from rehab, he thought things would pick up right where he left them, but this is not the case. Studios were already starting to forget him, so now he is forced to fight and audition for indie roles which he thought he had done away with for good. He did manage to get one indie role, but it looks like it is headed straight to video and our actor may be headed back to rehab.
This A-list actor recently had his movie delayed. It was allegedly so he could take some time off for exhaustion because he was working so hard. In actuality though, his herpes was flaring up and he kept getting cold sores. Makeup just made the problem worse, and it was going to be too expensive to digitally remove the sores from each frame of the film. Even worse, his co-star definitely did not want to kiss our actor and insisted something to be done. Time was the cure, but the co-star still did not want to kiss our actor. Seems odd for a couple playing husband and wife not to kiss, which is why parts of the film are being reshot.
This A-list actor is fairly recently married and even has a child. Although he has had a serious drug problem in the past, most people thought it was just that, in the past. His previous drug use had caused him to be turned down for several roles which could have made him an even larger star. Because of the drugs, he was forced to take some roles that most actors in his position would turn down without a thought. Until his current marriage, his relationships were always on and off, depending on his drug use. Once everyone thought he was clean, they began hiring him again and again. Now however, back-to-back-to-back-to-back films without a break and a long absence from his wife allowed him to resume his old ways and habits. He still has a few films in the pipeline, but their dates keep getting pushed back to see whether or not he can kick his habit or whether he will be back to his old ways.
Speaking of addictions, this B-list hunk was moving steadily up the fame ladder, but his battle with meth and alcohol effectively stopped him in his tracks for almost a year. When he emerged from rehab, he thought things would pick up right where he left them, but this is not the case. Studios were already starting to forget him, so now he is forced to fight and audition for indie roles which he thought he had done away with for good. He did manage to get one indie role, but it looks like it is headed straight to video and our actor may be headed back to rehab.
This A-list actor recently had his movie delayed. It was allegedly so he could take some time off for exhaustion because he was working so hard. In actuality though, his herpes was flaring up and he kept getting cold sores. Makeup just made the problem worse, and it was going to be too expensive to digitally remove the sores from each frame of the film. Even worse, his co-star definitely did not want to kiss our actor and insisted something to be done. Time was the cure, but the co-star still did not want to kiss our actor. Seems odd for a couple playing husband and wife not to kiss, which is why parts of the film are being reshot.
Thursday, August 30, 2012
CDAN: 01/08/07
Monday, January 08, 2007
JACKASS v KINDNESS
JACKASS
This past weekend I was leaving one of my favorite restaurants in LA. I love a good steak and this place has the best. Like everyone else does here in LA, I was waiting in line for the valet. There were about four people ahead of my group. I had seen this actor inside, and although we are not friends, we certainly know each other enough to say hello. Throughout the evening I had seen this actor enjoying drink after drink and growing louder and louder. He was being obnoxious, but nothing out of the ordinary or worth a mention here. UNTIL, he and his companions emerged from the restaurant and proceeded to push their way through to the front of the valet line. For some reason there was only one valet working and so things were moving a little slow. However, everyone was in a good mood and no one was complaining because they could all see how hard the one valet was working. He was not walking anywhere. He was running flat out. The valet looked to be in his mid 20's and was from Mexico. His English was poor which was going to cost him in a few minutes. When our actor came outside, the valet was not there because he was running to get a car. This immediately sent Mr. Ass into a rant about how no one has good service anymore and he had a movie opening soon and companies just did not value customer service.
So, the valet comes back with a car and now there are three people ahead of my group and the first in line prepares to give his ticket to the valet. The valet is about to grab it, when Mr. Ass says, "Hold it, I need to go first. I have a talk show I am supposed to do in twenty minutes." Well it is almost 11pm and no one is buying that story. The valet did not really understand what Mr. Ass was saying, just that there was an angry man getting more angry by the minute right in his face. The valet kind of gave a half smile and a shrug, and went back to the person who was first. At that point, Mr. Ass decided to play the do you know who I am card. I hate that card and to have this almost A lister recite what he has done and is doing to a man who did not understand a word was really humorous if you were not being the guy yelled at. It is so LA and so annoying. At that point, Mr. Ass lost it and his friends were trying to slink away. Mr. Ass said he would just go get his car himself and where were all the damn keys. The valet pointed and Mr. Ass got his keys and then asked where the cars were parked. It turns out the cars were about two blocks away. That sent Mr. Ass into a rant about how could the cars be protected if they were that far away and there better not be any damage to his car, etc. BUT it was too far for him to bother with it and that the valet should get it NOW. Well, it looked like we were in for another outburst of yelling and screaming, but everyone agreed Mr. Ass should go first. We just did not have the guts to watch it and you could tell the valet just wanted to escape the wrath of Mr. Ass.
The valet got back a few minutes later with the vehicle and Mr. Ass actually had the nerve to say it’s about time. No tip, no manners, and not the first time. Needless to say, the valet made a ton of money off the rest of us, but Mr. Ass needs a good ass kicking.
KINDNESS
This actress has not been in many things, but everyone will know her for all time anyway. Went from bit player to big star almost overnight. A lovely woman who never let her stardom give her a fat head like Mr. Ass up above. Anyway, it turns out that our actress has a habit. Every Monday she gets $500 in fives from the bank and over the course of the week gives it all away. She generally gives away $100 a day, five days a week. A homeless person asks for money, $5 and she just keeps on repeating this over and over. She knows how lucky she is to be where she is and never wants to forget where she came from. Each day as she runs into people who ask, and in LA there are plenty, she never says no and always gives $5. Homeless people who have no idea what she does for a living, just know she is someone they can always count on for a kind word and that $5. Just in her $5 plan she gives away almost $26,000 a year. She does not do it for publicity and obviously does not get receipts. She does not try and claim it on her taxes. She does it just because she cares. The $26,000 is not a bunch of money, but it is 5,200 people she has helped over the course of the year. She has looked in their eyes and knows she has a made a difference.
In reality, the $26,000 is not all she does in public. From Thanksgiving until Christmas, she raises the $5 to $20 and for one month, she gives away about $400 a day. Each person she runs into gets a $20 bill which can mean several days of food or even half the cost of a hotel room. Homeless people stop and thank her and quite often do not ask for the money again. They instead bring other people or tell her a story of what happened after she gave them some money. It is truly incredible what she does each and everyday, no matter where in the world she is. What makes it even more incredible is this story which I have heard once or twice before was a topic of conversation during the dinner with Mr. Ass.
JACKASS v KINDNESS
JACKASS
This past weekend I was leaving one of my favorite restaurants in LA. I love a good steak and this place has the best. Like everyone else does here in LA, I was waiting in line for the valet. There were about four people ahead of my group. I had seen this actor inside, and although we are not friends, we certainly know each other enough to say hello. Throughout the evening I had seen this actor enjoying drink after drink and growing louder and louder. He was being obnoxious, but nothing out of the ordinary or worth a mention here. UNTIL, he and his companions emerged from the restaurant and proceeded to push their way through to the front of the valet line. For some reason there was only one valet working and so things were moving a little slow. However, everyone was in a good mood and no one was complaining because they could all see how hard the one valet was working. He was not walking anywhere. He was running flat out. The valet looked to be in his mid 20's and was from Mexico. His English was poor which was going to cost him in a few minutes. When our actor came outside, the valet was not there because he was running to get a car. This immediately sent Mr. Ass into a rant about how no one has good service anymore and he had a movie opening soon and companies just did not value customer service.
So, the valet comes back with a car and now there are three people ahead of my group and the first in line prepares to give his ticket to the valet. The valet is about to grab it, when Mr. Ass says, "Hold it, I need to go first. I have a talk show I am supposed to do in twenty minutes." Well it is almost 11pm and no one is buying that story. The valet did not really understand what Mr. Ass was saying, just that there was an angry man getting more angry by the minute right in his face. The valet kind of gave a half smile and a shrug, and went back to the person who was first. At that point, Mr. Ass decided to play the do you know who I am card. I hate that card and to have this almost A lister recite what he has done and is doing to a man who did not understand a word was really humorous if you were not being the guy yelled at. It is so LA and so annoying. At that point, Mr. Ass lost it and his friends were trying to slink away. Mr. Ass said he would just go get his car himself and where were all the damn keys. The valet pointed and Mr. Ass got his keys and then asked where the cars were parked. It turns out the cars were about two blocks away. That sent Mr. Ass into a rant about how could the cars be protected if they were that far away and there better not be any damage to his car, etc. BUT it was too far for him to bother with it and that the valet should get it NOW. Well, it looked like we were in for another outburst of yelling and screaming, but everyone agreed Mr. Ass should go first. We just did not have the guts to watch it and you could tell the valet just wanted to escape the wrath of Mr. Ass.
The valet got back a few minutes later with the vehicle and Mr. Ass actually had the nerve to say it’s about time. No tip, no manners, and not the first time. Needless to say, the valet made a ton of money off the rest of us, but Mr. Ass needs a good ass kicking.
KINDNESS
This actress has not been in many things, but everyone will know her for all time anyway. Went from bit player to big star almost overnight. A lovely woman who never let her stardom give her a fat head like Mr. Ass up above. Anyway, it turns out that our actress has a habit. Every Monday she gets $500 in fives from the bank and over the course of the week gives it all away. She generally gives away $100 a day, five days a week. A homeless person asks for money, $5 and she just keeps on repeating this over and over. She knows how lucky she is to be where she is and never wants to forget where she came from. Each day as she runs into people who ask, and in LA there are plenty, she never says no and always gives $5. Homeless people who have no idea what she does for a living, just know she is someone they can always count on for a kind word and that $5. Just in her $5 plan she gives away almost $26,000 a year. She does not do it for publicity and obviously does not get receipts. She does not try and claim it on her taxes. She does it just because she cares. The $26,000 is not a bunch of money, but it is 5,200 people she has helped over the course of the year. She has looked in their eyes and knows she has a made a difference.
In reality, the $26,000 is not all she does in public. From Thanksgiving until Christmas, she raises the $5 to $20 and for one month, she gives away about $400 a day. Each person she runs into gets a $20 bill which can mean several days of food or even half the cost of a hotel room. Homeless people stop and thank her and quite often do not ask for the money again. They instead bring other people or tell her a story of what happened after she gave them some money. It is truly incredible what she does each and everyday, no matter where in the world she is. What makes it even more incredible is this story which I have heard once or twice before was a topic of conversation during the dinner with Mr. Ass.
CDAN: 1/03/07
Wednesday, January 03, 2007
Except for JeeezeLouise today, anyone who has REPLIED to one of my e-mails in the last week will you please send it again because I did not get it.
I sent Jeeeze an update on Britney but since you all want one, here is what I have for you. I have left two messages with my "friend." One yesterday and one today. I do not want to seem like a stalker so I am waiting for a call back. If and when she calls back I will fill you on the scoop she wants filled. It is the best I can do.
So this starlet who has been mentioned everywhere had a little drink Sunday night or was it two or three? Seems she got rejected by an ex in a VERY public way and proceeded to drink the night away and came on to any guy who headed her way. Except for one.
(Lindsay Lohan/Wilmer Valderrama(ex)/K-Fed)
One of my favorite actresses is finding that the road to seriousness is tough when you are not serious yourself. This actress who has been in A-List movies and has had an A list career without the payoff has begun to try her hand at producing. The only problem is that during her latest film she spent more time in the bathroom doing lines of coke then remembering the lines in her part. In the last few months she had assured everyone that she was clean and sober and an angel all over again. Two years ago her career almost came crashing to a halt because no one would hire her. She cleaned up and has been working and had more in the works. But just like her last few relationships, the projects are disappearing fast. She has always been gorgeous and talented, but because of the drugs and booze always one step away from becoming an acting footnote.
Another quick one to end the day. It is amazing what happens over NYE that everyone sees but no one wants to say anything. Just like the first item, this one happened over the weekend. This brand new actress who got her start in the adult magazine business and a little television has been making the rounds doing publicity for her first solo movie role. She had been advertised as the next big thing. The next big thing however was scary. She shocked everyone at her dinner table Sunday night by talking while eating, making loud comments about the food and the way it taste, looked and felt, that were making people ill. In addition she kept telling everyone how much her new breasts cost and who she had slept with to get her role and comparing it to what she has previously had to do and who. What was supposed to be a coming out party with all the right people is forcing her manager to send her back and hope she gets some finishing touches.
Except for JeeezeLouise today, anyone who has REPLIED to one of my e-mails in the last week will you please send it again because I did not get it.
I sent Jeeeze an update on Britney but since you all want one, here is what I have for you. I have left two messages with my "friend." One yesterday and one today. I do not want to seem like a stalker so I am waiting for a call back. If and when she calls back I will fill you on the scoop she wants filled. It is the best I can do.
So this starlet who has been mentioned everywhere had a little drink Sunday night or was it two or three? Seems she got rejected by an ex in a VERY public way and proceeded to drink the night away and came on to any guy who headed her way. Except for one.
(Lindsay Lohan/Wilmer Valderrama(ex)/K-Fed)
One of my favorite actresses is finding that the road to seriousness is tough when you are not serious yourself. This actress who has been in A-List movies and has had an A list career without the payoff has begun to try her hand at producing. The only problem is that during her latest film she spent more time in the bathroom doing lines of coke then remembering the lines in her part. In the last few months she had assured everyone that she was clean and sober and an angel all over again. Two years ago her career almost came crashing to a halt because no one would hire her. She cleaned up and has been working and had more in the works. But just like her last few relationships, the projects are disappearing fast. She has always been gorgeous and talented, but because of the drugs and booze always one step away from becoming an acting footnote.
Another quick one to end the day. It is amazing what happens over NYE that everyone sees but no one wants to say anything. Just like the first item, this one happened over the weekend. This brand new actress who got her start in the adult magazine business and a little television has been making the rounds doing publicity for her first solo movie role. She had been advertised as the next big thing. The next big thing however was scary. She shocked everyone at her dinner table Sunday night by talking while eating, making loud comments about the food and the way it taste, looked and felt, that were making people ill. In addition she kept telling everyone how much her new breasts cost and who she had slept with to get her role and comparing it to what she has previously had to do and who. What was supposed to be a coming out party with all the right people is forcing her manager to send her back and hope she gets some finishing touches.
CDAN: FFF 12/29/06
Friday, December 29, 2006
Hints for the holidays all relate to yesterday. I know it was 11 hours one way and 12 the other, but also know it was definitely not 13. --Even if people pay now, he didn't have to; I wonder if he does now. --not animated show, nothing more than that because the clues are very obvious--
Four For Friday
I hate to call this actress A-List so lets not. She has been on one hit television show and another modest hit. During her time spent out of the limelight, our actress had a bit of a drinking problem and it led to one of the most interesting days of all-time and very lucky she was not a dead girl. At 10am, actress leaves a new car dealer with a lovely Mercedes convertible. Price tag was about $85,000. Actress goes to lunch and has a few drinks. Leaves lunch and totals brand new car in a one car accident. Just under the legal limit for drinking, the police give her a warning after she says she has a fever and that is why she crashed. Actress decides the last car was bad luck and wants a different company. So, at 2:30pm is out the door in a brand new BMW. Price tag about $70,000. Afternoon quickie (married at the time) with drinks. Shortly after departing her lover, she totals her car in another one car accident. Again avoids being cited for drunk driving. Unable to secure financing for an additional vehicle, our actress rents a car. Shortly after midnight, actress heads home and of course on the way totals the car. No drunk driving ticket, but police drive her home. Three at fault accidents in one day and three totaled cars.
This actor has always had a hard time remaining faithful. He has really made a name for himself and in the last 5 years has become if not A list then very close. I am sure he has Wheaties for breakfast. Anyway, the relationship he never had but maybe did have with a woman who was married and that ended because of the relationship they never had by maybe did have is already over. On the set of his new movie he has found lust/love with this stunt woman turned actress. Lots of spies trying to get a photo but no luck so far.
Owen Wilson
This singer/reality star had a relationship with that waxy woman. Although he does enjoy the ladies, more than one relationship has ended because of his love of the men as well. Every time he is caught or confronted he always says it is the last time, but it seems he just cannot get enough. It has got to the point now that he is hollow inside and just goes through the motions with women until he can find one who is willing to let him explore or even join in.
This actress was on television forever and then got married. Prior to her marriage she was always working and always playing. She always had to party a little harder and be a little wilder for the tabloids to notice and finally grew tired of the game and settled down. Or did she? It seems that her wholesome image would be shaken if everyone knew that she has developed a little habit. Not drugs, but sex. She cannot hardly wait for her new hubby to leave everyday. While he is out and about she has been having "meetings" to find that just right project. Her meetings always start innocently enough but for some reason always end up at a condo she bought just for these trysts. For those who think she has found a new love, hold on, there is more. It is actually several new loves and sometimes they are there together.
Hints for the holidays all relate to yesterday. I know it was 11 hours one way and 12 the other, but also know it was definitely not 13. --Even if people pay now, he didn't have to; I wonder if he does now. --not animated show, nothing more than that because the clues are very obvious--
Four For Friday
I hate to call this actress A-List so lets not. She has been on one hit television show and another modest hit. During her time spent out of the limelight, our actress had a bit of a drinking problem and it led to one of the most interesting days of all-time and very lucky she was not a dead girl. At 10am, actress leaves a new car dealer with a lovely Mercedes convertible. Price tag was about $85,000. Actress goes to lunch and has a few drinks. Leaves lunch and totals brand new car in a one car accident. Just under the legal limit for drinking, the police give her a warning after she says she has a fever and that is why she crashed. Actress decides the last car was bad luck and wants a different company. So, at 2:30pm is out the door in a brand new BMW. Price tag about $70,000. Afternoon quickie (married at the time) with drinks. Shortly after departing her lover, she totals her car in another one car accident. Again avoids being cited for drunk driving. Unable to secure financing for an additional vehicle, our actress rents a car. Shortly after midnight, actress heads home and of course on the way totals the car. No drunk driving ticket, but police drive her home. Three at fault accidents in one day and three totaled cars.
This actor has always had a hard time remaining faithful. He has really made a name for himself and in the last 5 years has become if not A list then very close. I am sure he has Wheaties for breakfast. Anyway, the relationship he never had but maybe did have with a woman who was married and that ended because of the relationship they never had by maybe did have is already over. On the set of his new movie he has found lust/love with this stunt woman turned actress. Lots of spies trying to get a photo but no luck so far.
Owen Wilson
This singer/reality star had a relationship with that waxy woman. Although he does enjoy the ladies, more than one relationship has ended because of his love of the men as well. Every time he is caught or confronted he always says it is the last time, but it seems he just cannot get enough. It has got to the point now that he is hollow inside and just goes through the motions with women until he can find one who is willing to let him explore or even join in.
This actress was on television forever and then got married. Prior to her marriage she was always working and always playing. She always had to party a little harder and be a little wilder for the tabloids to notice and finally grew tired of the game and settled down. Or did she? It seems that her wholesome image would be shaken if everyone knew that she has developed a little habit. Not drugs, but sex. She cannot hardly wait for her new hubby to leave everyday. While he is out and about she has been having "meetings" to find that just right project. Her meetings always start innocently enough but for some reason always end up at a condo she bought just for these trysts. For those who think she has found a new love, hold on, there is more. It is actually several new loves and sometimes they are there together.
CDAN: 11/21/06
Thursday, December 21, 2006
Four For Friday (ahem Thursday)
This A list TV actor has a hit show. Our star is no rookie when it comes to meeting women, but perhaps next time he will learn from his mistakes. Last week our A-lister was at a very nice LA eatery with a few of his friends. Drinks were consumed and then more drinks and yet even more. Our star became more and more obnoxious as the drinking continued. He spent the last hour of his evening going from one table to another hitting on women and inviting them back to his place. He kept repeating, "Don’t you know who I am?" over and over as he would attempt to grope and otherwise harass the women in the establishment. As more and more people complained, our A-lister was finally tossed. Usually money talks in these situations, but not this time. The eatery was not going to be bribed. They just wanted him gone and did not even charge him for the meal or drinks just to be rid of him sooner.
This former late night television actor was one of the biggest stars of the 80's and early 90's. Now he has to keep moving from one part of the country to another just to find work. He used to have groupies everywhere he went, but now they are no more. Our actor still has plenty of cash from his days gone by and so hires escorts to pretend they are groupies and that they just cannot get enough of him. He even makes them ask for autographs.
Talk about freaky. This young actress just cannot get an invitation to anyone’s house. If she wants to party, it has to be at her place. The reason? Whenever she visits other people’s homes, she just cannot leave the valuables alone. More than once she has been confronted by her hosts or other guests as she takes whatever items will fit into her purse. If it were just little things, no one would mind because she does bring the supplies for the party. However, she has a bit more expensive taste than just the odd knick knack. She has a fondness for diamonds and other fine jewelry.
(Lindsey Lohan)
This actress has been on and off the A list for years. Now and then you think she is going to give it up and just be a wife, but she just keeps fighting. A few weeks ago, it looked like she had got into a fight and had to stay home for a week. A huge black eye started everyone whispering about abuse, but it turns out her plastic surgeon missed just slightly when injecting our heroine with Botox.
Four For Friday (ahem Thursday)
This A list TV actor has a hit show. Our star is no rookie when it comes to meeting women, but perhaps next time he will learn from his mistakes. Last week our A-lister was at a very nice LA eatery with a few of his friends. Drinks were consumed and then more drinks and yet even more. Our star became more and more obnoxious as the drinking continued. He spent the last hour of his evening going from one table to another hitting on women and inviting them back to his place. He kept repeating, "Don’t you know who I am?" over and over as he would attempt to grope and otherwise harass the women in the establishment. As more and more people complained, our A-lister was finally tossed. Usually money talks in these situations, but not this time. The eatery was not going to be bribed. They just wanted him gone and did not even charge him for the meal or drinks just to be rid of him sooner.
This former late night television actor was one of the biggest stars of the 80's and early 90's. Now he has to keep moving from one part of the country to another just to find work. He used to have groupies everywhere he went, but now they are no more. Our actor still has plenty of cash from his days gone by and so hires escorts to pretend they are groupies and that they just cannot get enough of him. He even makes them ask for autographs.
Talk about freaky. This young actress just cannot get an invitation to anyone’s house. If she wants to party, it has to be at her place. The reason? Whenever she visits other people’s homes, she just cannot leave the valuables alone. More than once she has been confronted by her hosts or other guests as she takes whatever items will fit into her purse. If it were just little things, no one would mind because she does bring the supplies for the party. However, she has a bit more expensive taste than just the odd knick knack. She has a fondness for diamonds and other fine jewelry.
(Lindsey Lohan)
This actress has been on and off the A list for years. Now and then you think she is going to give it up and just be a wife, but she just keeps fighting. A few weeks ago, it looked like she had got into a fight and had to stay home for a week. A huge black eye started everyone whispering about abuse, but it turns out her plastic surgeon missed just slightly when injecting our heroine with Botox.
CDAN: 11/05/06 My Week With K
Tuesday, December 05, 2006
My Week With K
I guess it is time for another long story. Thanks for being patient as it takes a great deal of time to make sure not too much is revealed, but at the same time making sure everyone is still entertained.
This story revolves around an A list actor. I know we have arguments about who is and who is not A list, but this actor who is 60+ (very broad here, but think more on the + side) is A list forever. Many, many movies, some television and awards and accolades from everywhere.
Litigation usually involves many documents and in this case both sides had demanded and produced tons of documents. K and I went through many of the relevant ones together so there would be no surprises at his deposition or at trial if it came to that. Having K there to help sift through all the documents was supposed to be helpful because he was aging and so looking at the documents again was supposed to refresh his memory and he could also advise me if something is missing, etc.
For one solid week I had this actor in the same room with me and thus learned way more than I wanted to about him, his social life, his vices, his hygiene, and his women. I am not predisposed to be awestruck by any celebrity, but this actor’s presence screamed "you will notice me and bow down before me."
The very first thing I noticed about K was that he enjoyed swearing and did so frequently. He was extremely fond of swearing loudly while I was on the phone or while I was trying to get something completed and needed to concentrate. His words were not limited to the basics, but were part of a much larger association of words that all flowed together into one large cuss word. The swearing was usually interjected with how K was smarter, funnier, better looking or thinner than the offending party.
K wanted to start each morning by about 7am and he was drinking steadily by about 7:40 or so. He kept a flask on him and would start each day with a swig straight from the flask and then just
use
it as "cream" for his coffee the remainder of the morning. Generally at
lunch he would wander out of my office, look for the closest person and
order them to the liquor store for a bottle of Midleton Very Rare
whiskey. Never heard of it? Well neither had any of us. It is about $140
a bottle and is not easy to find. Of course K did not offer any money
at all to the poor person assigned this task. I guess he assumed it
would be added to his bill. In any event someone would get it for him
and all afternoon he would give up any pretense of a flask or "cream"
and just drink it straight, although from the coffee cup instead of a
glass. Incidentally when I went to his hotel room one evening in
response to a call which I will discuss shortly he had 4 or 5 empty
Glenfiddich 40 year old bottles lined up on a desk. Each of those is
about $2500 and I hate to think who paid for those.
Beginning about 2pm or so, K would start using the phone. He was looking for who he would "get the honor of sleeping with him that night." Well apparently no matter how much he paid, the honor was not something most of them wanted to repeat, hence the calling which often lasted several hours. I should clarify that as far as I know he actually never exchanged sex for money. In fact, most of the time women wanted to sleep with him the FIRST time. It was after the first time that he would end up having to buy them gifts or something else to convince them to join him again. K did not have a Blackberry or a cellphone. K had a big black book. A very big black
book with all types of comments and notations next to entries. He
either made very good notes, had a great memory or was full of shit,
because he always had a comment about each person in the book. There
were several hundred names in the book and considering his shaky memory,
handwriting, and drinking it astonishes me to this day to think he
could remember them all. His comments were not the "oh she was a nice
girl who loved the opera." They were all related to the various parts of
their anatomy and how they behaved in bed. K was and is married, but as
he put it the first time I asked how his wife was, he said she is great
but her pxxsy is not.
K’s calls also included those to everyone he ever knew on any movie no matter where they were located in the world. He would start telling a story about someone and then forget a detail and have to call that person to get the detail and then would call back the original person to finish the story. If someone was unavailable to take his call, he would harangue them to the extent that whoever was on the other end of the phone always gave in and did whatever they could for K. Calls were made to his bookies. He had more than one because he enjoyed them competing for his business and also if one did not accept his call immediately, he was on to the next bookie.
Since K did not live in LA, this week with me was his time of freedom as he put it. He needed something fresh and new as he was tired of what he was currently getting. When women would come into the office it was so embarrassing watching him and listening to him, but most of the women seemed to enjoy the attention at least the first time. It was not even that they enjoyed his attention. They loved it and were very flattered at first. As the week wore on though, everyone grew weary of his behavior and after 3pm everyday the women all knew to stay out of his reach as well.
After 7 hours of drinking, he was not generally very quick, but he was still strong.
If
he caught you, you were going to spend some time sitting on K’s lap
enjoying his eau de whiskey and his horrific body odor. At the end of
the week, the office needed to be cleaned. He would change clothes
everyday (his clothes and tailoring were impeccable) and that was about
the limit of his hygiene as far as I could tell. K acted inappropriately
almost every second of the day, but because of who he is and was, no
one was going to say anything.
The problem, especially in his case is that times have changed but K has not. All celebrities to some extent suffer from this issue. The higher on the list you are, the more you suffer from it. Celebs just become so accustomed to having their whims granted and it is constantly reinforced after years and years that they really know, no other behavior. Combine that with how Hollywood was when K was in his prime and the problem is just magnified. When K was in his prime he could do anything, commit any crime short of murder and probably get away with it. When the roles stop coming, the learned behaviors do not also stop and so what was tolerated before becomes almost offensive. K had age on his side and his legacy which really helped.
While he was in LA, K felt free to call me at anytime of the night. He continued this habit even after returning home which resulted in a cell phone change which I have said before is not unusual for me. On his third night in LA, K called me in a panic at about 1am. He told me I needed to hurry over because he had a big problem and had no idea how to fix it. I tried to ask him what was wrong and if it could wait until the morning, but K would have none of that. He wanted me over there now and started to swear at me and only stopped when he took a breath.
As I got dressed and drove over my imagination was in high gear. Had he killed the girl he was with that night or did he have the cops there? What was I going to see when I got there to the hotel? The drive only took a couple of minutes as I lived very close to this hotel choice unlike his choice of the previous night. On this particular night he was staying at the Wilshire Grand. K changed hotels every night depending on what he was hungry for. On that night he had wanted Korean food so had stayed there because they have a Korean restaurant in the hotel.
The previous night he had a craving for snails and Norwegian salmon and there was only one place to satisfy his craving. The problem was it was in Malibu. This would not normally be a problem for me. However, K hated limos and thought they were pretentious. (He of the $2500 bottles of whiskey) He wanted someone to drive him from the office. He was dissatisfied with his first driver and so he volunteered me.
For those of you not familiar with LA and who think Malibu is right next to everything, you are wrong. It is a really long drive from downtown LA and made so more by the fact that every hour in LA is rush hour. I spent many, many hours in the car that day with him and still wake up sweating thinking of it. He had comments about every person and car he saw and how they reminded him of so and so. He never wavered and just kept talking non-stop. The only bright spot was in the afternoon, he wanted to sit in back and sprawl out because he had been drinking all day. The next morning, everyone in the office was under instructions to talk about food and hotels within a 5 mile radius of my place.
When I arrived at his suite he was wearing only a robe, his hair was wild, and he had for him a terrified expression on his face which was really pale. The girl of the night was not to be seen which only raised my anxiety about what was going on here in the middle of the night..
To be continued...
Wednesday, December 06, 2006
My Week with K -- Part 2
When I arrived at his suite he was wearing only a robe, his hair was wild, and he had for him a terrified expression on his face which was really pale. The girl of the night was not to be seen which only raised my anxiety about what was going on here in the middle of the night..
I asked what the problem was and for his answer he opened his robe completely. Not something for the faint of heart, and definitely not for viewing at 1am. Again, still have the nightmares.
The problem was that K had taken some type of Viagra alternative at about 6pm and the reaction he was hoping for was not quick enough. Therefore at 630pm he had taken another one. Still nothing. Thinking this alternative was weaker than Viagra, he then proceeded to take several at once. He was unsure how many, but perhaps 4 or 5 more which were in ad
dition
to the original two. 7 hours after his first pill, he was still good to
go as he proceeded to show me repeatedly as he never tied his robe
again. (Thanks for sharing) He thought a depressant might work, but
having none, he proceeded to quickly drink four or five tumblers of
whiskey. Nothing happened and the matter was becoming more painful.
What made K call me was the girl’s suggestion that he call a doctor. He had no intention to call a doctor and instead wanted me to call and pretend I was suffering from the ailment. So, I called down to the concierge who wanted to know why I needed a doctor and if he could be of any help. He then wanted to know my affliction so he could direct me to a doctor who handled that type of case and was still available. Meanwhile I have K right next to me and I am inhaling his essence while he keeps asking me what the concierge and then doctor are saying. After I told the concierge I overdosed on Viagra he gave me the number of someone who could help. The number went to an answering service and so I had to leave a message explaining my problem and give my cell # because K did not want it coming to his hotel room.
So we waited. And waited. First standing, and then sitting. He went to check on the girl who I later saw. She was about mid twenties but no matter of darkness or makeup could hide the fact she had a hard life and being with K was not going to make it much smoother. We waited until 2
am
still without the problem going down so to speak. Finally the doctor
calls and I have to pretend I am some hopped up Viagra freak who has had
an erection for 8 hours. Meanwhile I again have K constantly asking
what the doctor is saying. I am having trouble hearing and so turn to K
and say the doctor thinks they may have to stick a needle in your dick
and drain the blood. Seriously, the look on his face was priceless. Yes,
those MasterCard commercials talk about priceless, but this one was the
best. I will never see quite that look again in my life, but it really
made the whole week worthwhile.
I let K off the hook and tell him it is possible but unlikely that a needle will soon be draining the blood from his member, and that the solution is actually five feet away. The ice bucket. I tell K to soak his private areas in ice and it should go down. He asks me to do it for him, and I tell him absolutely no way. He does make me stay though to make sure the remedy works and to take him to the doctor if it does not. He grabs a washcloth, fills it with ice and then proceeds to ice himself down. The first touch brings out a scream from him and the girl from the next room. She is dressed, takes one look at the situation and tells K she needs to go. For once, K is basically quiet and thanks her and she leaves. Within 15 minutes the swelling is down and K is back to normal.
Normal in this situation means blustery, arrogant and drunk. I tell him I will see him in the morning and leave.
The next morning I was exhausted, but K was actually looking healthy. It was amazing to me that he could drink as much as he did everyday and night and go through what he had the previous night and still look ready to do it all over again. Have I mentioned his breath? Toothbrush? Not so much. The breath was either coffee or liquor and when he had neither, I got a morning hello to end all morning hellos. By this point in the week I had already discovered this toe curling fact and so came prepared with coffee.
K begins to launch into a spiel about how he learned something from what happened the previous night and that he was going to have to reassess things. I assumed he meant that he would maybe cut back on the indulgences and just being so over the top. The situation was almost like a parody. It was something you had to see to believe. Instead what he said was something like he was going to have to explore this further.
Originally this day was supposed to be the last day he spent in the office and so arrangements had been made for lunch. People wanted to be with him, but most important in LA, be seen with him. This was a situation K thrived on. As disgusting as he could be in close quarters or
in private, he was completely the opposite in public. Lunch was at The
Ivy, and if you are not familiar with The Ivy, look back at my old posts
and there is a description of it. The entire party was on the patio and
K was charming and gracious and showed remarkable self-control when it
came to his drinking. I realized later that this was about the only
acting K did anymore and to him it was a performance. Most of the people
in the group had not been with him all week and so this is what their
image of K was. He played it perfectly and you could just see and feel
his presence and knew right then how he had been such a huge star. He
was portraying his own stereotype and it really was enthralling to
watch. He was a star again, if only for a lunch.
The fun started after lunch on the way back to the office. On the way to lunch he had acquiesced, and had traveled with the powers to be in a limo. Now, however he was back in my car, and the drinking began immediately. Prior to lunch he had ordered me to buy his afternoon bottle of whiskey and to bring it with me in the car. By the time I sat down in the drivers seat, it was out of the bag, uncapped and the first swallow had gone down his throat.
The ride back was surreal. He basically replayed lunch out loud for me even though I was right there the whole time. After every sentence was a swallow of whiskey and by the time we got back to the office it was gone. He was flying now, and since he knew he was going to be back for one more day just wanted me to return him to the hotel, AFTER we stopped by the liquor store. In the morning one of the secretaries kept talking about sushi and tempura (she got a raise) and K was hooked. Japanese was on the menu that night and what do you know there was a lovely little place inside his hotel.
I was ecstatic to drop him off. A whole afternoon of his calls and molesting of the females in the office was not going to happen. Only one more day, and a trip to the airport and he was gone. What could go wrong? 2am phone calls are never good. It is generally when people stagger out of bars and drunk driving arrests made. I dread these calls because invariably someone is either in jail or needs a ride or both.
The noise on the other end of the phone was deafening and K’s voice was even louder. He always came close to yelling whenever he spoke on the phone and because it was so loud in his hotel room, this time his voice was reaching epic proportions. He needed me he said to come right over because there was an emergency and that since I had done so well last night, I should be able to help tonight. And on my way over I should pick up some booze as well. I told K everything would be closed and he screamed booze was needed and to use my imagination.
This week I am talking about happened a couple of years ago now and so I would probably not take this kind of abuse anymore. I say probably, because you just never know sometimes what you will do. Sometimes you just smile and play nice and sometimes you just choose to not represent that person anymore or not even start in the first place. If I could go back in time to the guy who got the 15 year old pregnant, I would probably choose not to represent him and when they came back the second time, I did say no. Anyway.
I ransacked t
he
bar at my place and gathered up my liquor bottles. Somehow a bottle of
brandy broke in the car and actually the smell was quite pleasant until
it had a chance to soak into everything. When I got to the hotel, there
was no valet around so I had to park my car on the street and then lug
these grocery bags filled with liquor down the street while the smell of
the brandy wafted off of me just like K and his whiskey.
I could hear the party while still IN the elevator. I cannot imagin
e
anyone on K’s floor being happy about the noise, but he would have just
told everyone off if they came to the door and the management was not
going to call the police. The door was propped open with a shoe and when
I walked in, the temperature was about 20 degrees warmer than the
hallway and the smell of smoke was everywhere. There were about 10
people there. Six aging men in various stages of drunkenness and undress
were there along with four women who were MUCH younger and who looked
as if they might do this type of event for a living.
As I looked again at the men I recognized two of them immediately. One had been in a movie with K that I remembered and the other was someone whose presence floored me. (And really no matter the condition I saw him in, it was someone I had always wanted to meet. Even more A list than K. That person has passed away now, but I still remember seeing him there for the first time) I did not really comprehend what I was seeing because it was as if I stepped back twenty years before when they were all in their prime. That night they were definitely not in their prime and not suitable for film at all. The other men I did not recognize but they were all people from K’s past who were still in the business (although I did not know them) or had been.
The "emergency" was simply that the bartender the hotel had provided had gone home and they needed a replacement. Yes, that is right. K called me at 2am to have me come over and be a bartender. (And of course bring the liquor) Further, I was to be the chauffeur for the six men at the end of the night and whatever of the men chose to bring one of the young women home with them. Why should they call a cab when I was there to take them home. The fact that my car would be lucky to hold four of them at a time was irrelevant. One man even suggested I take him home in his car and then call a cab and come back to the hotel and repeat until everyone was home. Luckily no one really thought that was necessary except for him. I was actually just shocked that they were concerned about drunk driving.
So from 2am until about 4am I played bartender and then chauffeur. I also watched a bunch of old men grope, fondle, and make fools of themselves around women that were in some cases a third their age and also a third their size. It turned out that some people did not need a ride home because they did not have wives to go home to and so they just wanted to remai
n
at the party with the booze and the ladies. When I came back from my
last trip at about 430am or so, K, one of his cronies, and the "hero"
were all sitting around in their boxers and t-shirts eating breakfast.
Here were two screen legends eating plates of food with hardly any
civility at all. Spilling it on themselves, swearing, telling stories
and looking nothing like a screen legend while also saying how much the
women had loved them that night. There were just such a range of
emotions that night about what I was seeing and hearing.
I left shortly thereafter, and when I back to the hotel about 7am, K was there waiting, looking dapper in a fresh suit, but the rest of him was still K. We spent all that day together and at the end of the day I gave him a ride to the airport and made sure he was taken care of by someone from the airline. I then said goodbye and really never expected to hear from K again. This lasted about a week.
For the next year or so I was on K’s calling list about once every two weeks or so. The calls could come at any time of the day or night depending on where in the world K was and what he was doing. Now I was part of his stories. I am still on his call list, but now the calls are probably once every 4 or 5 months. I think when I changed my cell number one time he took it personal. Also he has other stories and other calling friends now. But when that phone rings and I hear him yelling at someone before he even says hello I kind of think about that week and how it is kind of a microcosm for all things Hollywood.
Everything is fake but at the same time everything is real and sometimes you really just want the illusion to remain and not peek behind the curtain and see the wizard or in this case a guy with fried egg yolk all over his clothes while he is smoking a cigar and drinking. That week was my first up close and intense look at the reality in Hollywood and I have shared with you other stories that just have reinforced that shattered image of it that I deal with on a daily basis.
My Week With K
I guess it is time for another long story. Thanks for being patient as it takes a great deal of time to make sure not too much is revealed, but at the same time making sure everyone is still entertained.
This story revolves around an A list actor. I know we have arguments about who is and who is not A list, but this actor who is 60+ (very broad here, but think more on the + side) is A list forever. Many, many movies, some television and awards and accolades from everywhere.
Litigation usually involves many documents and in this case both sides had demanded and produced tons of documents. K and I went through many of the relevant ones together so there would be no surprises at his deposition or at trial if it came to that. Having K there to help sift through all the documents was supposed to be helpful because he was aging and so looking at the documents again was supposed to refresh his memory and he could also advise me if something is missing, etc.
For one solid week I had this actor in the same room with me and thus learned way more than I wanted to about him, his social life, his vices, his hygiene, and his women. I am not predisposed to be awestruck by any celebrity, but this actor’s presence screamed "you will notice me and bow down before me."
The very first thing I noticed about K was that he enjoyed swearing and did so frequently. He was extremely fond of swearing loudly while I was on the phone or while I was trying to get something completed and needed to concentrate. His words were not limited to the basics, but were part of a much larger association of words that all flowed together into one large cuss word. The swearing was usually interjected with how K was smarter, funnier, better looking or thinner than the offending party.
K wanted to start each morning by about 7am and he was drinking steadily by about 7:40 or so. He kept a flask on him and would start each day with a swig straight from the flask and then just
use
it as "cream" for his coffee the remainder of the morning. Generally at
lunch he would wander out of my office, look for the closest person and
order them to the liquor store for a bottle of Midleton Very Rare
whiskey. Never heard of it? Well neither had any of us. It is about $140
a bottle and is not easy to find. Of course K did not offer any money
at all to the poor person assigned this task. I guess he assumed it
would be added to his bill. In any event someone would get it for him
and all afternoon he would give up any pretense of a flask or "cream"
and just drink it straight, although from the coffee cup instead of a
glass. Incidentally when I went to his hotel room one evening in
response to a call which I will discuss shortly he had 4 or 5 empty
Glenfiddich 40 year old bottles lined up on a desk. Each of those is
about $2500 and I hate to think who paid for those.Beginning about 2pm or so, K would start using the phone. He was looking for who he would "get the honor of sleeping with him that night." Well apparently no matter how much he paid, the honor was not something most of them wanted to repeat, hence the calling which often lasted several hours. I should clarify that as far as I know he actually never exchanged sex for money. In fact, most of the time women wanted to sleep with him the FIRST time. It was after the first time that he would end up having to buy them gifts or something else to convince them to join him again. K did not have a Blackberry or a cellphone. K had a big black book. A very big black
book with all types of comments and notations next to entries. He
either made very good notes, had a great memory or was full of shit,
because he always had a comment about each person in the book. There
were several hundred names in the book and considering his shaky memory,
handwriting, and drinking it astonishes me to this day to think he
could remember them all. His comments were not the "oh she was a nice
girl who loved the opera." They were all related to the various parts of
their anatomy and how they behaved in bed. K was and is married, but as
he put it the first time I asked how his wife was, he said she is great
but her pxxsy is not.K’s calls also included those to everyone he ever knew on any movie no matter where they were located in the world. He would start telling a story about someone and then forget a detail and have to call that person to get the detail and then would call back the original person to finish the story. If someone was unavailable to take his call, he would harangue them to the extent that whoever was on the other end of the phone always gave in and did whatever they could for K. Calls were made to his bookies. He had more than one because he enjoyed them competing for his business and also if one did not accept his call immediately, he was on to the next bookie.
Since K did not live in LA, this week with me was his time of freedom as he put it. He needed something fresh and new as he was tired of what he was currently getting. When women would come into the office it was so embarrassing watching him and listening to him, but most of the women seemed to enjoy the attention at least the first time. It was not even that they enjoyed his attention. They loved it and were very flattered at first. As the week wore on though, everyone grew weary of his behavior and after 3pm everyday the women all knew to stay out of his reach as well.
After 7 hours of drinking, he was not generally very quick, but he was still strong.
If
he caught you, you were going to spend some time sitting on K’s lap
enjoying his eau de whiskey and his horrific body odor. At the end of
the week, the office needed to be cleaned. He would change clothes
everyday (his clothes and tailoring were impeccable) and that was about
the limit of his hygiene as far as I could tell. K acted inappropriately
almost every second of the day, but because of who he is and was, no
one was going to say anything.The problem, especially in his case is that times have changed but K has not. All celebrities to some extent suffer from this issue. The higher on the list you are, the more you suffer from it. Celebs just become so accustomed to having their whims granted and it is constantly reinforced after years and years that they really know, no other behavior. Combine that with how Hollywood was when K was in his prime and the problem is just magnified. When K was in his prime he could do anything, commit any crime short of murder and probably get away with it. When the roles stop coming, the learned behaviors do not also stop and so what was tolerated before becomes almost offensive. K had age on his side and his legacy which really helped.
While he was in LA, K felt free to call me at anytime of the night. He continued this habit even after returning home which resulted in a cell phone change which I have said before is not unusual for me. On his third night in LA, K called me in a panic at about 1am. He told me I needed to hurry over because he had a big problem and had no idea how to fix it. I tried to ask him what was wrong and if it could wait until the morning, but K would have none of that. He wanted me over there now and started to swear at me and only stopped when he took a breath.
As I got dressed and drove over my imagination was in high gear. Had he killed the girl he was with that night or did he have the cops there? What was I going to see when I got there to the hotel? The drive only took a couple of minutes as I lived very close to this hotel choice unlike his choice of the previous night. On this particular night he was staying at the Wilshire Grand. K changed hotels every night depending on what he was hungry for. On that night he had wanted Korean food so had stayed there because they have a Korean restaurant in the hotel.
The previous night he had a craving for snails and Norwegian salmon and there was only one place to satisfy his craving. The problem was it was in Malibu. This would not normally be a problem for me. However, K hated limos and thought they were pretentious. (He of the $2500 bottles of whiskey) He wanted someone to drive him from the office. He was dissatisfied with his first driver and so he volunteered me.
For those of you not familiar with LA and who think Malibu is right next to everything, you are wrong. It is a really long drive from downtown LA and made so more by the fact that every hour in LA is rush hour. I spent many, many hours in the car that day with him and still wake up sweating thinking of it. He had comments about every person and car he saw and how they reminded him of so and so. He never wavered and just kept talking non-stop. The only bright spot was in the afternoon, he wanted to sit in back and sprawl out because he had been drinking all day. The next morning, everyone in the office was under instructions to talk about food and hotels within a 5 mile radius of my place.
When I arrived at his suite he was wearing only a robe, his hair was wild, and he had for him a terrified expression on his face which was really pale. The girl of the night was not to be seen which only raised my anxiety about what was going on here in the middle of the night..
To be continued...
Wednesday, December 06, 2006
My Week with K -- Part 2
When I arrived at his suite he was wearing only a robe, his hair was wild, and he had for him a terrified expression on his face which was really pale. The girl of the night was not to be seen which only raised my anxiety about what was going on here in the middle of the night..
I asked what the problem was and for his answer he opened his robe completely. Not something for the faint of heart, and definitely not for viewing at 1am. Again, still have the nightmares.
The problem was that K had taken some type of Viagra alternative at about 6pm and the reaction he was hoping for was not quick enough. Therefore at 630pm he had taken another one. Still nothing. Thinking this alternative was weaker than Viagra, he then proceeded to take several at once. He was unsure how many, but perhaps 4 or 5 more which were in ad
dition
to the original two. 7 hours after his first pill, he was still good to
go as he proceeded to show me repeatedly as he never tied his robe
again. (Thanks for sharing) He thought a depressant might work, but
having none, he proceeded to quickly drink four or five tumblers of
whiskey. Nothing happened and the matter was becoming more painful.What made K call me was the girl’s suggestion that he call a doctor. He had no intention to call a doctor and instead wanted me to call and pretend I was suffering from the ailment. So, I called down to the concierge who wanted to know why I needed a doctor and if he could be of any help. He then wanted to know my affliction so he could direct me to a doctor who handled that type of case and was still available. Meanwhile I have K right next to me and I am inhaling his essence while he keeps asking me what the concierge and then doctor are saying. After I told the concierge I overdosed on Viagra he gave me the number of someone who could help. The number went to an answering service and so I had to leave a message explaining my problem and give my cell # because K did not want it coming to his hotel room.
So we waited. And waited. First standing, and then sitting. He went to check on the girl who I later saw. She was about mid twenties but no matter of darkness or makeup could hide the fact she had a hard life and being with K was not going to make it much smoother. We waited until 2
am
still without the problem going down so to speak. Finally the doctor
calls and I have to pretend I am some hopped up Viagra freak who has had
an erection for 8 hours. Meanwhile I again have K constantly asking
what the doctor is saying. I am having trouble hearing and so turn to K
and say the doctor thinks they may have to stick a needle in your dick
and drain the blood. Seriously, the look on his face was priceless. Yes,
those MasterCard commercials talk about priceless, but this one was the
best. I will never see quite that look again in my life, but it really
made the whole week worthwhile.I let K off the hook and tell him it is possible but unlikely that a needle will soon be draining the blood from his member, and that the solution is actually five feet away. The ice bucket. I tell K to soak his private areas in ice and it should go down. He asks me to do it for him, and I tell him absolutely no way. He does make me stay though to make sure the remedy works and to take him to the doctor if it does not. He grabs a washcloth, fills it with ice and then proceeds to ice himself down. The first touch brings out a scream from him and the girl from the next room. She is dressed, takes one look at the situation and tells K she needs to go. For once, K is basically quiet and thanks her and she leaves. Within 15 minutes the swelling is down and K is back to normal.
Normal in this situation means blustery, arrogant and drunk. I tell him I will see him in the morning and leave.
The next morning I was exhausted, but K was actually looking healthy. It was amazing to me that he could drink as much as he did everyday and night and go through what he had the previous night and still look ready to do it all over again. Have I mentioned his breath? Toothbrush? Not so much. The breath was either coffee or liquor and when he had neither, I got a morning hello to end all morning hellos. By this point in the week I had already discovered this toe curling fact and so came prepared with coffee.
K begins to launch into a spiel about how he learned something from what happened the previous night and that he was going to have to reassess things. I assumed he meant that he would maybe cut back on the indulgences and just being so over the top. The situation was almost like a parody. It was something you had to see to believe. Instead what he said was something like he was going to have to explore this further.
Originally this day was supposed to be the last day he spent in the office and so arrangements had been made for lunch. People wanted to be with him, but most important in LA, be seen with him. This was a situation K thrived on. As disgusting as he could be in close quarters or
in private, he was completely the opposite in public. Lunch was at The
Ivy, and if you are not familiar with The Ivy, look back at my old posts
and there is a description of it. The entire party was on the patio and
K was charming and gracious and showed remarkable self-control when it
came to his drinking. I realized later that this was about the only
acting K did anymore and to him it was a performance. Most of the people
in the group had not been with him all week and so this is what their
image of K was. He played it perfectly and you could just see and feel
his presence and knew right then how he had been such a huge star. He
was portraying his own stereotype and it really was enthralling to
watch. He was a star again, if only for a lunch.The fun started after lunch on the way back to the office. On the way to lunch he had acquiesced, and had traveled with the powers to be in a limo. Now, however he was back in my car, and the drinking began immediately. Prior to lunch he had ordered me to buy his afternoon bottle of whiskey and to bring it with me in the car. By the time I sat down in the drivers seat, it was out of the bag, uncapped and the first swallow had gone down his throat.
The ride back was surreal. He basically replayed lunch out loud for me even though I was right there the whole time. After every sentence was a swallow of whiskey and by the time we got back to the office it was gone. He was flying now, and since he knew he was going to be back for one more day just wanted me to return him to the hotel, AFTER we stopped by the liquor store. In the morning one of the secretaries kept talking about sushi and tempura (she got a raise) and K was hooked. Japanese was on the menu that night and what do you know there was a lovely little place inside his hotel.
I was ecstatic to drop him off. A whole afternoon of his calls and molesting of the females in the office was not going to happen. Only one more day, and a trip to the airport and he was gone. What could go wrong? 2am phone calls are never good. It is generally when people stagger out of bars and drunk driving arrests made. I dread these calls because invariably someone is either in jail or needs a ride or both.
The noise on the other end of the phone was deafening and K’s voice was even louder. He always came close to yelling whenever he spoke on the phone and because it was so loud in his hotel room, this time his voice was reaching epic proportions. He needed me he said to come right over because there was an emergency and that since I had done so well last night, I should be able to help tonight. And on my way over I should pick up some booze as well. I told K everything would be closed and he screamed booze was needed and to use my imagination.
This week I am talking about happened a couple of years ago now and so I would probably not take this kind of abuse anymore. I say probably, because you just never know sometimes what you will do. Sometimes you just smile and play nice and sometimes you just choose to not represent that person anymore or not even start in the first place. If I could go back in time to the guy who got the 15 year old pregnant, I would probably choose not to represent him and when they came back the second time, I did say no. Anyway.
I ransacked t
he
bar at my place and gathered up my liquor bottles. Somehow a bottle of
brandy broke in the car and actually the smell was quite pleasant until
it had a chance to soak into everything. When I got to the hotel, there
was no valet around so I had to park my car on the street and then lug
these grocery bags filled with liquor down the street while the smell of
the brandy wafted off of me just like K and his whiskey.I could hear the party while still IN the elevator. I cannot imagin
e
anyone on K’s floor being happy about the noise, but he would have just
told everyone off if they came to the door and the management was not
going to call the police. The door was propped open with a shoe and when
I walked in, the temperature was about 20 degrees warmer than the
hallway and the smell of smoke was everywhere. There were about 10
people there. Six aging men in various stages of drunkenness and undress
were there along with four women who were MUCH younger and who looked
as if they might do this type of event for a living.As I looked again at the men I recognized two of them immediately. One had been in a movie with K that I remembered and the other was someone whose presence floored me. (And really no matter the condition I saw him in, it was someone I had always wanted to meet. Even more A list than K. That person has passed away now, but I still remember seeing him there for the first time) I did not really comprehend what I was seeing because it was as if I stepped back twenty years before when they were all in their prime. That night they were definitely not in their prime and not suitable for film at all. The other men I did not recognize but they were all people from K’s past who were still in the business (although I did not know them) or had been.
The "emergency" was simply that the bartender the hotel had provided had gone home and they needed a replacement. Yes, that is right. K called me at 2am to have me come over and be a bartender. (And of course bring the liquor) Further, I was to be the chauffeur for the six men at the end of the night and whatever of the men chose to bring one of the young women home with them. Why should they call a cab when I was there to take them home. The fact that my car would be lucky to hold four of them at a time was irrelevant. One man even suggested I take him home in his car and then call a cab and come back to the hotel and repeat until everyone was home. Luckily no one really thought that was necessary except for him. I was actually just shocked that they were concerned about drunk driving.
So from 2am until about 4am I played bartender and then chauffeur. I also watched a bunch of old men grope, fondle, and make fools of themselves around women that were in some cases a third their age and also a third their size. It turned out that some people did not need a ride home because they did not have wives to go home to and so they just wanted to remai
n
at the party with the booze and the ladies. When I came back from my
last trip at about 430am or so, K, one of his cronies, and the "hero"
were all sitting around in their boxers and t-shirts eating breakfast.
Here were two screen legends eating plates of food with hardly any
civility at all. Spilling it on themselves, swearing, telling stories
and looking nothing like a screen legend while also saying how much the
women had loved them that night. There were just such a range of
emotions that night about what I was seeing and hearing.I left shortly thereafter, and when I back to the hotel about 7am, K was there waiting, looking dapper in a fresh suit, but the rest of him was still K. We spent all that day together and at the end of the day I gave him a ride to the airport and made sure he was taken care of by someone from the airline. I then said goodbye and really never expected to hear from K again. This lasted about a week.
For the next year or so I was on K’s calling list about once every two weeks or so. The calls could come at any time of the day or night depending on where in the world K was and what he was doing. Now I was part of his stories. I am still on his call list, but now the calls are probably once every 4 or 5 months. I think when I changed my cell number one time he took it personal. Also he has other stories and other calling friends now. But when that phone rings and I hear him yelling at someone before he even says hello I kind of think about that week and how it is kind of a microcosm for all things Hollywood.
Everything is fake but at the same time everything is real and sometimes you really just want the illusion to remain and not peek behind the curtain and see the wizard or in this case a guy with fried egg yolk all over his clothes while he is smoking a cigar and drinking. That week was my first up close and intense look at the reality in Hollywood and I have shared with you other stories that just have reinforced that shattered image of it that I deal with on a daily basis.
Thursday, August 9, 2012
Lainey: They all fall down
They all fall down
November 20, 2009
Very promising, very young, very well connected star was completely smashed at an afterparty recently, stumbling, mumbling, a total embarrassment, and not quite legal. She doesn’t eat, she’s drinking heavily, she’s experimenting with some other substances, she’s practically living with her boyfriend, and there is rarely an adult around to supervise.
Many thought she had passed the danger stage and she’s so promising, especially with her pedigree, that they’ll lie and hide and camouflage when she f-cks up, hoping that the phase will pass. But drama runs in the family, they should watch this one closely before she goes the way of the Lohan. Because people are talking and these people are accustomed to seeing young girls get f-cked up all the time. She’s going so hardcore though that she’s getting their attention.
Not Miley Cyrus or Taylor Momsen.
November 20, 2009
Very promising, very young, very well connected star was completely smashed at an afterparty recently, stumbling, mumbling, a total embarrassment, and not quite legal. She doesn’t eat, she’s drinking heavily, she’s experimenting with some other substances, she’s practically living with her boyfriend, and there is rarely an adult around to supervise.
Many thought she had passed the danger stage and she’s so promising, especially with her pedigree, that they’ll lie and hide and camouflage when she f-cks up, hoping that the phase will pass. But drama runs in the family, they should watch this one closely before she goes the way of the Lohan. Because people are talking and these people are accustomed to seeing young girls get f-cked up all the time. She’s going so hardcore though that she’s getting their attention.
Not Miley Cyrus or Taylor Momsen.
Laniey: Sex & drink
Sex & drink
November 2, 2009
When do the drugs kick in?
Not that you need me to tell you that she’s not so innocent but this is the sh-t that goes on behind the glossy glitter, the packaging, and a billion dollar brand that must, at all costs, be protected.
There was a pregnancy scare a few weeks ago. She was actually bragging about it, because of course she desperately wants people to know that she’s having sex. There was a serious sit-down, a discussion about the ramifications of her actions, and a promise from her handlers that she’d be controlled with an agreement that control also comes with a “get rid of the problem” policy that the Lord probably wouldn’t approve of.
Turns out she wasn’t pregnant. But she is drinking. And boastful about it too. Once again, it’s the yapping that keeps getting her in trouble.
At a shoot recently, she didn’t realise her mic was on. They all get caught with their mic on, don’t they? What came out of her mouth?
Oh, only a lot of talk about her experience with “getting f-cked”, like proudly, and more boasting about her flavour for “dirty martinis”, apparently her drink of choice. Great lessons from mommy and daddy.
November 2, 2009
When do the drugs kick in?
Not that you need me to tell you that she’s not so innocent but this is the sh-t that goes on behind the glossy glitter, the packaging, and a billion dollar brand that must, at all costs, be protected.
There was a pregnancy scare a few weeks ago. She was actually bragging about it, because of course she desperately wants people to know that she’s having sex. There was a serious sit-down, a discussion about the ramifications of her actions, and a promise from her handlers that she’d be controlled with an agreement that control also comes with a “get rid of the problem” policy that the Lord probably wouldn’t approve of.
Turns out she wasn’t pregnant. But she is drinking. And boastful about it too. Once again, it’s the yapping that keeps getting her in trouble.
At a shoot recently, she didn’t realise her mic was on. They all get caught with their mic on, don’t they? What came out of her mouth?
Oh, only a lot of talk about her experience with “getting f-cked”, like proudly, and more boasting about her flavour for “dirty martinis”, apparently her drink of choice. Great lessons from mommy and daddy.
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