One more couple to mourn
August 29, 2012
Nothing to laugh about here -- this one we will all be sad about. All
of us. Because it’s almost over for them. After rising together and
stabilising together and conveniently finding a home together, where
you’d think work would be so much easier, and having the babies too,
they’re close to formally ending it, and there may be an announcement
soon...which, well, if you look at him it doesn’t seem to have affected
him physically. Everyone says he really cares about his appearance these
days, more than ever, and is looking hotter than ever. Or, as one
person put it, “hot all of a sudden”. Emotionally too he hasn’t let on
that there’s anything wrong. For what it’s worth, I’m told there was no
third party involvement. Perhaps that means it’s amicable, just the end
of their story. Perhaps we’ll be more choked about it than they are. As I
drench my waffles in more maple syrup.
Showing posts with label Lainey. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Lainey. Show all posts
Tuesday, September 4, 2012
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
Lainey: Who Did Your Eyes?
Who Did Your Eyes?
August 10, 2012
One of the best pieces of gossip I’ve heard lately. I wish I could have watched it go down. Wait, but now I’ve built it up too much. So I’ll pull it back first: this does not involve sex or cheating or secret gays or garden vegetables which means some of you may find it boring. But it does involve two celebrated actors, super powerful, super respected, neither of whom seem to be particularly vain physically beyond staying trim.
A few months ago, one wrote the other asking for some advice:
Actor A: I was just wondering...who did your eyes?
Actor B: I don’t know, I’ve never had my eyes done.
Actor A: Yeah, ok, sure. Merry Christmas.
And then they spent the rest of the season sh-t talking each other while smiling down the carpets at all the events during the season because one suspects the other of holding out on him for a good surgeon. In Hollywood, you’re never too mature to be pretty...and petty!
August 10, 2012
One of the best pieces of gossip I’ve heard lately. I wish I could have watched it go down. Wait, but now I’ve built it up too much. So I’ll pull it back first: this does not involve sex or cheating or secret gays or garden vegetables which means some of you may find it boring. But it does involve two celebrated actors, super powerful, super respected, neither of whom seem to be particularly vain physically beyond staying trim.
A few months ago, one wrote the other asking for some advice:
Actor A: I was just wondering...who did your eyes?
Actor B: I don’t know, I’ve never had my eyes done.
Actor A: Yeah, ok, sure. Merry Christmas.
And then they spent the rest of the season sh-t talking each other while smiling down the carpets at all the events during the season because one suspects the other of holding out on him for a good surgeon. In Hollywood, you’re never too mature to be pretty...and petty!
Lainey: Cucumber
Cucumber
July 25, 2012
Let’s take a break from the Twilight despair to get into some sexual produce.
They’ve been together a while now. They’re beautiful and fashionable and they’ve travelled the world. This sense of adventure extends beyond geography. After so many years, it would appear that these two are still super hot for each other.
At a party very recently, they wandered into the garden. They started kissing, rubbing, grinding. He went between her thighs...with his hands...and an accessory.
A cucumber.
In the garden.
At a party.
With a cucumber.
She enjoyed it.
They didn’t know at the time but there was an audience. When they figured that out they were obviously mortified. They’re a lot luckier than Kristen Stewart though. The evidence in this case will not be published.
July 25, 2012
Let’s take a break from the Twilight despair to get into some sexual produce.
They’ve been together a while now. They’re beautiful and fashionable and they’ve travelled the world. This sense of adventure extends beyond geography. After so many years, it would appear that these two are still super hot for each other.
At a party very recently, they wandered into the garden. They started kissing, rubbing, grinding. He went between her thighs...with his hands...and an accessory.
A cucumber.
In the garden.
At a party.
With a cucumber.
She enjoyed it.
They didn’t know at the time but there was an audience. When they figured that out they were obviously mortified. They’re a lot luckier than Kristen Stewart though. The evidence in this case will not be published.
Lainey: He turned out to be the cliché
He turned out to be the cliché
July 12, 2012
He was the one we trusted who can’t actually be trusted. He used to be my answer to the question - is there anyone in Hollywood who DOESN’T cheat? Yes, I’d say, and excitedly too! Art does not imitate life! He’s faithful!
Well, no. He isn’t.
He hits on the young funny pretty ones at parties. Very typical behaviour - he loosens up with a few drinks and he turns into a pig; two of his more famous targets, both under 30, turned him down. He did however spend a few nights with a frequent co-star, over 30. They’ve worked together on major and minor projects. As for his long suffering partner? The woman we thought was the love of his life? Well, sometimes when he gets drunk and smears himself all over other ladies, she’s actually right there. She turns away. She pretends she doesn’t see. Which... kind of explains why she looks the way she does.
That said, it is a partnership. It’s not like she’s getting nothing out of it. He has used his influence to help her, certainly. Perhaps she’s decided it’s worth it.
An actor cheating on his partner is nothing new and doesn’t make for the most intriguing blind, sure. But like I said earlier, he was the one who was supposed to not be like the others. He’s the one who’s enjoyed almost unanimous popularity. And he turned out to be the cliché. I was surprised about this one. And very, very disappointed.
Lainey has revealed that this is Jon Hamm.
July 12, 2012
He was the one we trusted who can’t actually be trusted. He used to be my answer to the question - is there anyone in Hollywood who DOESN’T cheat? Yes, I’d say, and excitedly too! Art does not imitate life! He’s faithful!
Well, no. He isn’t.
He hits on the young funny pretty ones at parties. Very typical behaviour - he loosens up with a few drinks and he turns into a pig; two of his more famous targets, both under 30, turned him down. He did however spend a few nights with a frequent co-star, over 30. They’ve worked together on major and minor projects. As for his long suffering partner? The woman we thought was the love of his life? Well, sometimes when he gets drunk and smears himself all over other ladies, she’s actually right there. She turns away. She pretends she doesn’t see. Which... kind of explains why she looks the way she does.
That said, it is a partnership. It’s not like she’s getting nothing out of it. He has used his influence to help her, certainly. Perhaps she’s decided it’s worth it.
An actor cheating on his partner is nothing new and doesn’t make for the most intriguing blind, sure. But like I said earlier, he was the one who was supposed to not be like the others. He’s the one who’s enjoyed almost unanimous popularity. And he turned out to be the cliché. I was surprised about this one. And very, very disappointed.
Lainey has revealed that this is Jon Hamm.
Friday, August 24, 2012
Lainey: Scared Straight
Scared Straight
March 21, 2012
Both are acclaimed actors. One’s an actor you find super cute. He’s popular and adorable, like dimples and old fashioned dresses. The other’s an actor I find super gross. And dramatic. And full of his own sh-t. He fronts like he’s dark. He’s difficult. The work is often beneath him. The work is often taken away from him because the attitude that it is beneath him is so often intolerable The two had a torrid affair. Which is nothing unusual, of course not. Except that dimples broke up with drama and drama practically had a psychotic break. There was a month-long spiral. A couple of times he came close to really hurting himself. He also threatened to expose them both, though no one is taking that seriously. As a result, his heartbreaker is trying, ignorantly, to go back to the other side of his bisexuality.
Dimples is Joseph Gordon-Levitt per the SMUT Soiree 2012 reveals. She has hinted that Michael Pitt for dark.
March 21, 2012
Both are acclaimed actors. One’s an actor you find super cute. He’s popular and adorable, like dimples and old fashioned dresses. The other’s an actor I find super gross. And dramatic. And full of his own sh-t. He fronts like he’s dark. He’s difficult. The work is often beneath him. The work is often taken away from him because the attitude that it is beneath him is so often intolerable The two had a torrid affair. Which is nothing unusual, of course not. Except that dimples broke up with drama and drama practically had a psychotic break. There was a month-long spiral. A couple of times he came close to really hurting himself. He also threatened to expose them both, though no one is taking that seriously. As a result, his heartbreaker is trying, ignorantly, to go back to the other side of his bisexuality.
Dimples is Joseph Gordon-Levitt per the SMUT Soiree 2012 reveals. She has hinted that Michael Pitt for dark.
Lainey: Not a doting mother, not a kind employer
Not a doting mother, not a kind employer
March 2, 2012
She’s supposed to be the doting mother. Ask the people who help her with her kids. They certainly don’t agree.
First of all she’s never around. And when she’s present she’s distant, not only not involved, but almost irresponsible about it. One of her children may have developmental challenges. As such, diet can exacerbate the issue. Since she can only spend so much time with her children, and often slotted in like appointments in her schedule, she doesn’t bother observing the food requirements that can help with the child’s behaviour. Mom supplies junk food because it’s quick and dirty so that she can get out of there that much faster. When the kid acts out because of the sh-t he’s just consumed, she’s incapable of dealing with it and takes off anyway.
It’s left then to the staff to raise her family. How does she treat them? Nannies’ cell phones are confiscated at 8am and not returned until 10pm. There’s a trusting and kind working environment, non? Totally encourages loyalty.
As you expect, bosses like this always play favourites. Her favourite? Curiously enough, it’s the bodyguard. He’s been seen rubbing her feet. Of course that had nothing to do with the separation ...even though the foot massages have been happening for a while now.
It’s not Gwyneth Paltrow.
Lainey Revealed Heidi Klum at SMUT Soiree 2012.
March 2, 2012
She’s supposed to be the doting mother. Ask the people who help her with her kids. They certainly don’t agree.
First of all she’s never around. And when she’s present she’s distant, not only not involved, but almost irresponsible about it. One of her children may have developmental challenges. As such, diet can exacerbate the issue. Since she can only spend so much time with her children, and often slotted in like appointments in her schedule, she doesn’t bother observing the food requirements that can help with the child’s behaviour. Mom supplies junk food because it’s quick and dirty so that she can get out of there that much faster. When the kid acts out because of the sh-t he’s just consumed, she’s incapable of dealing with it and takes off anyway.
It’s left then to the staff to raise her family. How does she treat them? Nannies’ cell phones are confiscated at 8am and not returned until 10pm. There’s a trusting and kind working environment, non? Totally encourages loyalty.
As you expect, bosses like this always play favourites. Her favourite? Curiously enough, it’s the bodyguard. He’s been seen rubbing her feet. Of course that had nothing to do with the separation ...even though the foot massages have been happening for a while now.
It’s not Gwyneth Paltrow.
Lainey Revealed Heidi Klum at SMUT Soiree 2012.
Lainey: Thin For Nothing
Thin For Nothing
February 21, 2012
Lower tier actress - you know her name - is desperate for a big(ger) break. When she heard The Director was working on a new blockbuster, she begged and begged for a meeting. And he repeatedly kept dicking her around, cancelling at the last minute, making her wait for a couple of hours before sending the assistant out to tell her he wasn’t showing. I mean, he’s a legendary misogynist. And there’s nothing he likes more than playing mind games with young actresses.
Though he has no intention of putting her in his movies, he’s having a great time f-cking up her head. So he sent word that he might agree to see her but only if she loses some weight. This girl was fit to begin with. Like really fit. So she’s starving herself to let go of an extra 10, even though there’s not much there to begin with. But it’s not like it would help. Again, he’s just doing this because he can, for sh-ts and giggles, because he’s a twisted f-ck. As he explained to a colleague, “That girl is regular person pretty, and not even really regular person pretty. Definitely not hot enough for one of my movies.” And it’s like he’s almost insulted that she thought she was. Which is why this game, this game is just his way of putting her in her place, of punishing her for actually thinking she’d be good enough, sexy enough, to be his new model muse. He justifies it by saying he’s giving her a “life lesson”. Oh, and “if she offers me a blowjob, I’ll take it. One of these days, maybe I’ll throw her a favour”. Sad part is...she’s coming close to it. She’s coming very close.
Lainey hints that it's Ashley Greene
February 21, 2012
Lower tier actress - you know her name - is desperate for a big(ger) break. When she heard The Director was working on a new blockbuster, she begged and begged for a meeting. And he repeatedly kept dicking her around, cancelling at the last minute, making her wait for a couple of hours before sending the assistant out to tell her he wasn’t showing. I mean, he’s a legendary misogynist. And there’s nothing he likes more than playing mind games with young actresses.
Though he has no intention of putting her in his movies, he’s having a great time f-cking up her head. So he sent word that he might agree to see her but only if she loses some weight. This girl was fit to begin with. Like really fit. So she’s starving herself to let go of an extra 10, even though there’s not much there to begin with. But it’s not like it would help. Again, he’s just doing this because he can, for sh-ts and giggles, because he’s a twisted f-ck. As he explained to a colleague, “That girl is regular person pretty, and not even really regular person pretty. Definitely not hot enough for one of my movies.” And it’s like he’s almost insulted that she thought she was. Which is why this game, this game is just his way of putting her in her place, of punishing her for actually thinking she’d be good enough, sexy enough, to be his new model muse. He justifies it by saying he’s giving her a “life lesson”. Oh, and “if she offers me a blowjob, I’ll take it. One of these days, maybe I’ll throw her a favour”. Sad part is...she’s coming close to it. She’s coming very close.
Lainey hints that it's Ashley Greene
Lainey: When she conceived...
When she conceived...
February 15, 2012
She’s pregnant. It’s still early but she’ll start to show soon. And she’s happy, they’re both happy, but also really, really freaking out. Because around the time of conception, they were both using rather frequently. It’s just what they do together. Besides, she thought she was past the point of another child. So it was a surprise, to say the least. A pleasant one, yes, but she’s not sure if it’s one she wants to keep. She is convinced the child will not be right. She is convinced, in her mind, in her words, that she’ll “be paying for it” for the rest of her life, in the form of care and stress, and that this will be her punishment for such recklessness - to be attached to a kid that will need her, in ways she’s afraid to imagine, forever. She’s also super paranoid that if she does have their baby and the baby has health problems, he’ll turn and blame her, and be disgusted by her, and leave her. Without all his access, it’s a totally different life. And ultimately she still wants to be desired, she prioritises being desired. It’s a decision she is agonising over but she’s running out of time.
The good news? The drugs have stopped completely.
Lainey has revealed this to be Uma Thurman.
February 15, 2012
She’s pregnant. It’s still early but she’ll start to show soon. And she’s happy, they’re both happy, but also really, really freaking out. Because around the time of conception, they were both using rather frequently. It’s just what they do together. Besides, she thought she was past the point of another child. So it was a surprise, to say the least. A pleasant one, yes, but she’s not sure if it’s one she wants to keep. She is convinced the child will not be right. She is convinced, in her mind, in her words, that she’ll “be paying for it” for the rest of her life, in the form of care and stress, and that this will be her punishment for such recklessness - to be attached to a kid that will need her, in ways she’s afraid to imagine, forever. She’s also super paranoid that if she does have their baby and the baby has health problems, he’ll turn and blame her, and be disgusted by her, and leave her. Without all his access, it’s a totally different life. And ultimately she still wants to be desired, she prioritises being desired. It’s a decision she is agonising over but she’s running out of time.
The good news? The drugs have stopped completely.
Lainey has revealed this to be Uma Thurman.
Lainey: Cash Only
Cash Only
December 14, 2011
SO easy.
Who was paid $15,000 in cash this week in exchange for frolicking around in her bikini on the beach? That’s a lot of cash money for you and me, true. But for them? It’s change. It’s really, really not much. In that world, it’s almost nothing. Consider that Tori Spelling supposedly charges at least 4 times that for a photo op with her kids and you get a sense of how low this piece of sh-t is scraping these days. She used to be able to throw that much away on a night out.
Oh and by the way, it had to be cash. She was super hard up for the cash. What are some of the things one might pay for in cash only?
December 14, 2011
SO easy.
Who was paid $15,000 in cash this week in exchange for frolicking around in her bikini on the beach? That’s a lot of cash money for you and me, true. But for them? It’s change. It’s really, really not much. In that world, it’s almost nothing. Consider that Tori Spelling supposedly charges at least 4 times that for a photo op with her kids and you get a sense of how low this piece of sh-t is scraping these days. She used to be able to throw that much away on a night out.
Oh and by the way, it had to be cash. She was super hard up for the cash. What are some of the things one might pay for in cash only?
Lainey: They’re creeping everyone out
They’re creeping everyone out
November 23, 2011
This director doesn’t have a reputation for engaging in tomfoolery on his sets, and this starlet has no reputation at all, yet they’ve been raising eyebrows with their vaguely off-putting relationship, which is inching into “professionally inappropriate” territory. Their weird fascination with one another is making some folks wonder if they could become a liability while promoting their film. She’s infatuated but he’s playing Pygmalion, a scenario that always ends messily. Someone should warn her, bless her little heart.
David Fincher & Rooney Mara
November 23, 2011
This director doesn’t have a reputation for engaging in tomfoolery on his sets, and this starlet has no reputation at all, yet they’ve been raising eyebrows with their vaguely off-putting relationship, which is inching into “professionally inappropriate” territory. Their weird fascination with one another is making some folks wonder if they could become a liability while promoting their film. She’s infatuated but he’s playing Pygmalion, a scenario that always ends messily. Someone should warn her, bless her little heart.
David Fincher & Rooney Mara
Lainey: Wife confronts colleague
Wife confronts colleague
October 25, 2011
A popular married television personality who’s also a chronic cheater had an affair a few years ago with a woman (also married with kids) who’s now become his colleague. The colleague ran into his wife recently. The wife decided they would have a little conversation. There were no pleasantries. The wife pretty much opened with - who did you have to f-ck to get this new position? How many people have you f-cked to get to where you are now? The colleague, obviously mortified, as they’re actually in a place crawling with parents and children, frequented by their own children, tried to be civil, tried to downplay the hostilities. No, the wife wasn’t interested in having a dignified discussion in public. She kept up her line of questioning about the colleague’s career mobility with pointed questions about how much time she’d spent on her back to get to where she is. The badgering continued, the wife was relentless, until the colleague rushed away. The wife is now boasting about the incident to all the ladies in the circle and beyond, convinced that the reason the colleague is getting so much play on the network these days is because she’s willing to give up so much play for the executives, the way she gave it up for her husband.
This isn’t the first time the wife has behaved aggressively. Her husband has pleaded with her to chill out when they’re in public as it could affect his reputation, like his constant dicking isn’t the major contributor to that. Still, her target right now is his colleague and the colleague’s reputation and she seems to be willing, happily willing, to share with anyone who asks how this colleague is earning all her jobs ...though I wonder if all that casting couching is enough since, you know, Julia Roberts didn’t seem to be aware.
Lainey hinted that this is Natalie Morales, with the wife being Annette Roque Lauer.
October 25, 2011
A popular married television personality who’s also a chronic cheater had an affair a few years ago with a woman (also married with kids) who’s now become his colleague. The colleague ran into his wife recently. The wife decided they would have a little conversation. There were no pleasantries. The wife pretty much opened with - who did you have to f-ck to get this new position? How many people have you f-cked to get to where you are now? The colleague, obviously mortified, as they’re actually in a place crawling with parents and children, frequented by their own children, tried to be civil, tried to downplay the hostilities. No, the wife wasn’t interested in having a dignified discussion in public. She kept up her line of questioning about the colleague’s career mobility with pointed questions about how much time she’d spent on her back to get to where she is. The badgering continued, the wife was relentless, until the colleague rushed away. The wife is now boasting about the incident to all the ladies in the circle and beyond, convinced that the reason the colleague is getting so much play on the network these days is because she’s willing to give up so much play for the executives, the way she gave it up for her husband.
This isn’t the first time the wife has behaved aggressively. Her husband has pleaded with her to chill out when they’re in public as it could affect his reputation, like his constant dicking isn’t the major contributor to that. Still, her target right now is his colleague and the colleague’s reputation and she seems to be willing, happily willing, to share with anyone who asks how this colleague is earning all her jobs ...though I wonder if all that casting couching is enough since, you know, Julia Roberts didn’t seem to be aware.
Lainey hinted that this is Natalie Morales, with the wife being Annette Roque Lauer.
Lainey: Her kids were watching
Her kids were watching
October 18, 2011
Film set. Recently. She’s shooting a sex scene. Walking around set in her bra, no shirt on, panties, standard attire, nothing unusual about it...
Except that her children were there that day. They were visiting. And it was no thing, you know? That was her costume. They saw her in his costume while they were there. And then she sat them behind the monitor so that they could see her work and they watched while mom worked with another actor - she rubbed up against him, he returned the rubbing, she made love for pretend, for the movies, to a man that was not the father of her children, in front of her children.
I’m sure over 90% of you are all huffy and tutty about this and have been since the start of the 2nd paragraph. “It’s so inappropriate, it’s so bizarre, these people are sick f-cks”, etc etc etc. Me I’m still trying to decide. Part of me understands the huffing and the tutting. And the other part, well, it’s worth huffing and tutting over in real life, for civilians, because that’s simply not part of that world.
But take Kate Winslet for example - and this is NOT about Kate Winslet - who’s already been naked on screen several times, and her kids go to school with other kids whose parents have seen their mother’s breasts, and you realise, theirs is a totally different reality. And, given that that is the reality, if you are the subject of this riddle, do you prepare your children for it by bringing them with you, by showing them that this is not real, that this is what happens in filmmaking, that this is part of the process, that this is part of what’s considered their craft or their art, or whatever fancy word they’re using for it these days, that this is not dirty, that there’s nothing shady about it, in the hopes of removing or addressing in advance any stigma/embarrassment that might arise later...
Mommy is an Actor and this is what Acting is...
A part of me doesn’t disagree with that either, you know?
Anyway, I look forward to reading your emails.
Lainey revealed this actress as Gwyneth Paltrow at SMUT Soiree 2012.
October 18, 2011
Film set. Recently. She’s shooting a sex scene. Walking around set in her bra, no shirt on, panties, standard attire, nothing unusual about it...
Except that her children were there that day. They were visiting. And it was no thing, you know? That was her costume. They saw her in his costume while they were there. And then she sat them behind the monitor so that they could see her work and they watched while mom worked with another actor - she rubbed up against him, he returned the rubbing, she made love for pretend, for the movies, to a man that was not the father of her children, in front of her children.
I’m sure over 90% of you are all huffy and tutty about this and have been since the start of the 2nd paragraph. “It’s so inappropriate, it’s so bizarre, these people are sick f-cks”, etc etc etc. Me I’m still trying to decide. Part of me understands the huffing and the tutting. And the other part, well, it’s worth huffing and tutting over in real life, for civilians, because that’s simply not part of that world.
But take Kate Winslet for example - and this is NOT about Kate Winslet - who’s already been naked on screen several times, and her kids go to school with other kids whose parents have seen their mother’s breasts, and you realise, theirs is a totally different reality. And, given that that is the reality, if you are the subject of this riddle, do you prepare your children for it by bringing them with you, by showing them that this is not real, that this is what happens in filmmaking, that this is part of the process, that this is part of what’s considered their craft or their art, or whatever fancy word they’re using for it these days, that this is not dirty, that there’s nothing shady about it, in the hopes of removing or addressing in advance any stigma/embarrassment that might arise later...
Mommy is an Actor and this is what Acting is...
A part of me doesn’t disagree with that either, you know?
Anyway, I look forward to reading your emails.
Lainey revealed this actress as Gwyneth Paltrow at SMUT Soiree 2012.
Friday, August 17, 2012
Lainey: Action Homewrecker
Action Homewrecker
October 17, 2011
A marriage is over. A one year old baby will now grow up in a broken home. Because the dickhead of a father couldn’t resist the action star. He’s a crew member on her show, no one famous. She is the star of the show. And a major bitch. Was hated before she decided to f-ck up a family. Is even more hated now. Because she decided she had to have him, that’s it, never mind that he’s married and his wife had a baby not too long ago. They’d been carrying on for a while. Then, one day about a month ago, they were fooling around and his wife walked in. She ended it right away. And, well, being that she also works in the industry, she didn’t bother hiding why.
He, of course, thinks he’s in love. She on the other hand is still dealing occasionally with a number of past and current co-stars. This is not the first time she’s taken what she wants when it’s supposed to be unavailable. And every time she leaves a mess behind. I’m told she truly believes there’s a hierarchy in the business. That those who are on camera, as she is, and look the way she does - really, really beautiful - are unquestionably entitled to things, and that those who choose to work in the same field, lower on the food chain, in doing so also implicitly buy into the same ideology. One night, at a Hollywood party, when she was on hiatus, she apparently shared this with several people over dinner, speaking only to the men and not their wives who sat there open-mouthed as this bitch pretty much told them that if she decided to f-ck their husbands, they’d have to accept it as part of the world order. It’s not Scarlett Johansson.
October 17, 2011
A marriage is over. A one year old baby will now grow up in a broken home. Because the dickhead of a father couldn’t resist the action star. He’s a crew member on her show, no one famous. She is the star of the show. And a major bitch. Was hated before she decided to f-ck up a family. Is even more hated now. Because she decided she had to have him, that’s it, never mind that he’s married and his wife had a baby not too long ago. They’d been carrying on for a while. Then, one day about a month ago, they were fooling around and his wife walked in. She ended it right away. And, well, being that she also works in the industry, she didn’t bother hiding why.
He, of course, thinks he’s in love. She on the other hand is still dealing occasionally with a number of past and current co-stars. This is not the first time she’s taken what she wants when it’s supposed to be unavailable. And every time she leaves a mess behind. I’m told she truly believes there’s a hierarchy in the business. That those who are on camera, as she is, and look the way she does - really, really beautiful - are unquestionably entitled to things, and that those who choose to work in the same field, lower on the food chain, in doing so also implicitly buy into the same ideology. One night, at a Hollywood party, when she was on hiatus, she apparently shared this with several people over dinner, speaking only to the men and not their wives who sat there open-mouthed as this bitch pretty much told them that if she decided to f-ck their husbands, they’d have to accept it as part of the world order. It’s not Scarlett Johansson.
Lainey: Biohazard
Biohazard
October 14, 2011
Here’s a gross one to kick off your weekend. If you’re prudey and squeamish, you may want to skip it.
We’re women. Sometimes the cycle, it’s hard to control. How many times have you heard someone complain that her holiday was happening right when the menses were too? (Menses is the MOST hilarious word to me, by the way. Because I’m immature enough to laugh about the fact that it’s so similar to Mensa. Anyway...)
Imagine then if your speciality was being naked on screen? And, you know, how that would work if you were on your period? And this is not a porn show. This, actually, is a critically acclaimed show. And one day, while shooting a nude scene, she walked on set with no clothes on and her tampon string clearly visible.
(I am warning you right now.If you just squealed, you need to stop reading this and move on. It’s about to get worse. Go.)
So of course they can’t shoot her with her tampon still inside her so, you know, in front of the entire crew, she pulls it out and drops it on the floor and asks the PA to pick it up and toss it for her. Which, um, is a biohazard, and you know, those PAs, their tolerance is high, but no, picking up used tampons is not part of the job. The bleeder reluctantly had to throw it out herself.
This is just one of many incidents that has resulted in her screen-time getting reduced. By the end of it, there’s a chance she could come back, but she’s certainly not being considered a mainstay regular anymore either.
Easy, right?
SO easy.
October 14, 2011
Here’s a gross one to kick off your weekend. If you’re prudey and squeamish, you may want to skip it.
We’re women. Sometimes the cycle, it’s hard to control. How many times have you heard someone complain that her holiday was happening right when the menses were too? (Menses is the MOST hilarious word to me, by the way. Because I’m immature enough to laugh about the fact that it’s so similar to Mensa. Anyway...)
Imagine then if your speciality was being naked on screen? And, you know, how that would work if you were on your period? And this is not a porn show. This, actually, is a critically acclaimed show. And one day, while shooting a nude scene, she walked on set with no clothes on and her tampon string clearly visible.
(I am warning you right now.If you just squealed, you need to stop reading this and move on. It’s about to get worse. Go.)
So of course they can’t shoot her with her tampon still inside her so, you know, in front of the entire crew, she pulls it out and drops it on the floor and asks the PA to pick it up and toss it for her. Which, um, is a biohazard, and you know, those PAs, their tolerance is high, but no, picking up used tampons is not part of the job. The bleeder reluctantly had to throw it out herself.
This is just one of many incidents that has resulted in her screen-time getting reduced. By the end of it, there’s a chance she could come back, but she’s certainly not being considered a mainstay regular anymore either.
Easy, right?
SO easy.
Lainey: How much does she know?
How much does she know?
September 27, 2011
She’s not with her boyfriend anymore and we’re to believe it ended amicably and for her sake, I hope so, but I’m not sure she would deal well with the fact that just a couple of weeks before their split was officially confirmed, he was on the road with someone else in his hotel room. The girl had the build he’s known to prefer - lean and muscular - and she answered the door wearing nothing but her underwear and her hands covering her breasts. Seemed very young. Didn’t seem uncomfortable and, you know, did what she told and was supposed to do while he lay in bed, naked, kinda ignoring her. She meanwhile kept walking around without her top on, like it was totally normal. And apparently it wasn’t the first time. All the time. For a long time. Which, for some reason, was a surprise to no one but his girlfriend, now ex, who never, ever, ever learns. Kinda like her successor, from another relationship, and why can’t we give these girls some better love vision???
September 27, 2011
She’s not with her boyfriend anymore and we’re to believe it ended amicably and for her sake, I hope so, but I’m not sure she would deal well with the fact that just a couple of weeks before their split was officially confirmed, he was on the road with someone else in his hotel room. The girl had the build he’s known to prefer - lean and muscular - and she answered the door wearing nothing but her underwear and her hands covering her breasts. Seemed very young. Didn’t seem uncomfortable and, you know, did what she told and was supposed to do while he lay in bed, naked, kinda ignoring her. She meanwhile kept walking around without her top on, like it was totally normal. And apparently it wasn’t the first time. All the time. For a long time. Which, for some reason, was a surprise to no one but his girlfriend, now ex, who never, ever, ever learns. Kinda like her successor, from another relationship, and why can’t we give these girls some better love vision???
Thursday, August 16, 2012
Lainey: Franchise Fat
Franchise Fat
September 22, 2011
Written by Sarah
He showed up the first time fit and fine but this time around he was rather round about the tum. The director noticed and was not happy, fearing for the consistency of the franchise. When asked to slim down, the slightly schlumpy star responded, “This movie isn’t worth it.” The trim-down request was rejected, and the show went on, but feelings were sore and things were a bit stiff until Sir Portly finished his scenes.
September 22, 2011
Written by Sarah
He showed up the first time fit and fine but this time around he was rather round about the tum. The director noticed and was not happy, fearing for the consistency of the franchise. When asked to slim down, the slightly schlumpy star responded, “This movie isn’t worth it.” The trim-down request was rejected, and the show went on, but feelings were sore and things were a bit stiff until Sir Portly finished his scenes.
Lainey: She learns for him, will not leave him
She learns for him, will not leave him
August 10, 2011
So much speculation and it’s been going on for years that she will finally leave him because he simply won’t, ever, change. But do you know the lengths she went through to get him, and keep him? Did you know she enrolled in classes at university, not because she was interested for herself, but because she wanted to be able to talk to him about...things? She wanted to be able to keep up. She wanted HIM to know/believe/think she could keep up. She worships his brain. She wanted to make sure that he was finding her brain adequately stimulating.
They say that he’s been trying to get out of there. He hasn’t tried. There has been no attempt. It’s kinda futile. First because, even if he were to want to bail, everyone in his life would be against it, and has warned him of the consequences, but also because she has told him straight up, on several occasions, “I will never leave you”. This one doesn’t get enough credit for her tenacity.
Lainey has indicated that this is Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck.
August 10, 2011
So much speculation and it’s been going on for years that she will finally leave him because he simply won’t, ever, change. But do you know the lengths she went through to get him, and keep him? Did you know she enrolled in classes at university, not because she was interested for herself, but because she wanted to be able to talk to him about...things? She wanted to be able to keep up. She wanted HIM to know/believe/think she could keep up. She worships his brain. She wanted to make sure that he was finding her brain adequately stimulating.
They say that he’s been trying to get out of there. He hasn’t tried. There has been no attempt. It’s kinda futile. First because, even if he were to want to bail, everyone in his life would be against it, and has warned him of the consequences, but also because she has told him straight up, on several occasions, “I will never leave you”. This one doesn’t get enough credit for her tenacity.
Lainey has indicated that this is Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck.
Lainey: Three Weeks & a Friend’s Couch
Three Weeks & a Friend’s Couch
July 27, 2011
Two separate riddles here...
1. It was instant attraction when they started rehearsals, despite the fact that he’s supposed to be happily married. On set flirtation, some touching in the trailer, soon became after work “prep time”, and heavy petting in the car, and before long it was a full blown affair. May have been a method situation for him, which would surprise no one, but for her, even though she told herself this was a big girl, mature woman thing to do – take a co-star lover – of course she fell in love, although she obediently went back to her boyfriend and tried to shake it off he cut it off after three weeks as soon as his wife came over to stay. He seems to be able to pretend like it never happened. Which, naturally, is confusing her because she thought it was so real. Of course she did. As it happened, there was a break in the schedule and they haven’t had to work together for a while, much to the studio’s relief. These are big names on a big film with big expectation and there was already enough drama last time around. But shooting with everyone resumes again in a few days, and they’ll be sending an executive to stay around through the stretch to keep a close eye. Babysitting is exactly what it is.
2. Here’s a story her side has been working hard to put out there: that one night he hurt her so badly she had to leave and because she’s so famous, and was so distraught, a hotel wasn’t an option. So she drove herself – a crazy notion in and of itself – to a friend’s, and actually slept on the couch, also hard to believe. But home was supposedly not a safe place for her that night. This is why they’re helping her make a new one.
#1. Christian Bale and Anne Hathaway on the set of The Dark Knight Returns
#2. Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony
July 27, 2011
Two separate riddles here...
1. It was instant attraction when they started rehearsals, despite the fact that he’s supposed to be happily married. On set flirtation, some touching in the trailer, soon became after work “prep time”, and heavy petting in the car, and before long it was a full blown affair. May have been a method situation for him, which would surprise no one, but for her, even though she told herself this was a big girl, mature woman thing to do – take a co-star lover – of course she fell in love, although she obediently went back to her boyfriend and tried to shake it off he cut it off after three weeks as soon as his wife came over to stay. He seems to be able to pretend like it never happened. Which, naturally, is confusing her because she thought it was so real. Of course she did. As it happened, there was a break in the schedule and they haven’t had to work together for a while, much to the studio’s relief. These are big names on a big film with big expectation and there was already enough drama last time around. But shooting with everyone resumes again in a few days, and they’ll be sending an executive to stay around through the stretch to keep a close eye. Babysitting is exactly what it is.
2. Here’s a story her side has been working hard to put out there: that one night he hurt her so badly she had to leave and because she’s so famous, and was so distraught, a hotel wasn’t an option. So she drove herself – a crazy notion in and of itself – to a friend’s, and actually slept on the couch, also hard to believe. But home was supposedly not a safe place for her that night. This is why they’re helping her make a new one.
#1. Christian Bale and Anne Hathaway on the set of The Dark Knight Returns
#2. Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony
Lainey: That didn’t take long
That didn’t take long
June 21, 2011
I guess if you’re going to cheat, you’re going to cheat. It doesn’t have to be after a year, it can be much less. And you don’t have to wait for 5 either. Also, at that age, is it realistic to expect something to last forever? I suppose you don’t know that until you know it. And by then it’s too late.
She’s more famous. And he’s, well, he’s ok at what he does, but he’s certainly not great at it although when it comes to actual talent, I’m not so sure she has much of it either, and definitely not with the last project she pimped. Still, there’s no question that she’s the B+ in this relationship, and he’s the solid D+, which is VERY generous. In another league maybe we’d consider him a C-. A C at most. He’d never be one to wear that on his sweater though.
Anyway he cheated on her. At least once. With some kind of no name, but well connected enough, and the sort of girl who gets off on hooking up with married men, and if the married man has a celebrity wife...well, even better.
The wife, so far, is happily oblivious. So far. But those kinds of girls, they love to step down on other girls. And they love when other people know about it. Not sure how long he’ll be able to keep this contained.
Lainey has dropped hints that this is Hillary Duff and Mike Comrie(Popaholic).
June 21, 2011
I guess if you’re going to cheat, you’re going to cheat. It doesn’t have to be after a year, it can be much less. And you don’t have to wait for 5 either. Also, at that age, is it realistic to expect something to last forever? I suppose you don’t know that until you know it. And by then it’s too late.
She’s more famous. And he’s, well, he’s ok at what he does, but he’s certainly not great at it although when it comes to actual talent, I’m not so sure she has much of it either, and definitely not with the last project she pimped. Still, there’s no question that she’s the B+ in this relationship, and he’s the solid D+, which is VERY generous. In another league maybe we’d consider him a C-. A C at most. He’d never be one to wear that on his sweater though.
Anyway he cheated on her. At least once. With some kind of no name, but well connected enough, and the sort of girl who gets off on hooking up with married men, and if the married man has a celebrity wife...well, even better.
The wife, so far, is happily oblivious. So far. But those kinds of girls, they love to step down on other girls. And they love when other people know about it. Not sure how long he’ll be able to keep this contained.
Lainey has dropped hints that this is Hillary Duff and Mike Comrie(Popaholic).
Lainey: Locker Room duties
Locker Room duties
June 16, 2011
This has nothing to do with how John Travolta behaves at a spa. But I love that your first instinct was to go there.
For Seych who graduated from SFU yesterday and was reading LaineyGossip under the regalia through the boring bits – a riddle by request:
You want to know how spoiled celebrities are? Every morning when he goes to the gym and opens up his locker, he expects to find inside a vacuum sealed package containing a set of clean workout clothes. He leaves the used clothes inside the locker after the training session. An employee is then required to come to the gym later and replace the dirty items with a fresh vacuum pack option for the next day. The clothes have to be vacuum packed. They can’t just be laundered and folded and placed gently on the shelf. And in LA, for the stars, a request like this is considered commonplace.
June 16, 2011
This has nothing to do with how John Travolta behaves at a spa. But I love that your first instinct was to go there.
For Seych who graduated from SFU yesterday and was reading LaineyGossip under the regalia through the boring bits – a riddle by request:
You want to know how spoiled celebrities are? Every morning when he goes to the gym and opens up his locker, he expects to find inside a vacuum sealed package containing a set of clean workout clothes. He leaves the used clothes inside the locker after the training session. An employee is then required to come to the gym later and replace the dirty items with a fresh vacuum pack option for the next day. The clothes have to be vacuum packed. They can’t just be laundered and folded and placed gently on the shelf. And in LA, for the stars, a request like this is considered commonplace.
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